|Reviews for When an Angel Falls|
| Amanda Rhode chapter 4 . 4/8/2009
I stopped reading this earlier (sorry!) but it is still just as good as I remember from before. Walker is a jerk, Chase rocks (especially the vampire part), and you can't even tell that Gaby is blind for most of the scenes. I can't wait to see what happens . . . after homework. :)
| Keelin N chapter 9 . 11/9/2008
The terminology at the beginning was perfect. It got me excited to read the story. And then the story itself didn’t disappoint. The pace was fast and snappy. Each character was interesting to read about through the chapters. I wish there was more!
| Amanda Rhode chapter 1 . 8/27/2008
A few words are missing here and there ('You are of use to me...') and some sentences are a bit short, but a great intro to a story–can't wait to see what happens. BTW, thanks for the review.
| Freaky Fred chapter 1 . 7/12/2008
I think this is really nice; I like how you put the terminology up there.
I would get confused otherwise. ._.
And you got a song stuck in my head when you wrote, "She wore sunglasses at night..."
*Goes on to read the rest*
| embers-and-bridges chapter 1 . 5/18/2008
The list of terminology was a great help. It's a good beginning but it's slightly confusing. How is it that Gabriella gets from one place to another? She just suddenly appeared. Also, you don't need to use so many verbs just to describe her speaking. Those are really the only things that bothered me. Your characterization is wonderful though; Gabriella seems strong even if she's blind and a girl. It's very non-cliche. She does not disappoint. You don't disappoint with your writing style either :)
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
Hello! Ever so sorry for taking so long to get back to you- I have been studying day and night for a week, at least. So please forgive me! But thanks for the list of summaries, and you're certainly very prolific!
Now, because this is so long, I shall review it phrase by phrase. I may not say much, and I may get a bit distracted and criticise a bit too much by the end, but I shall try!
I'm rather confused as to what is what, at the beginning. You have something that seems to be the story, and then a list of terms. It seems like something that should go at the very top or bottom, at least to me. If you want to split the italicised part from the rest, I think that you could do it differently, couldn't you? ANd, perhaps I'm an idiot, but what does 'waf' stand for?
"He watched the Native American, black haired girl" I think that this is a bit redundant. I would assume that he'd know her ancestry from her appearance, unless he's some kind of stalker. You could contrast the hair with something, but I believe that most Native Americans are stereotyped to have dark hair.
"The hair reminded him of the perfect midnight." Wow. Characterization for both characters and a pretty phrase, wrapped into one sentence! Impressive, to be sure.
"When she touched him she envisioned his dark hair and blue eyes. "He had the most amazing blue eyes." Now I'm intrigued. A blind girl recognizing colors? I must keep reading, now!
"Suddenly she was crashed into" This is passive voice, I believe. She's so sensitive- I want more information about the crash! It can't just come from nowhere!
"“Bite me.” She informed him." It's not really a retort when you're being informed! :)
Overall, I like it! The Gaby is certainly an idiot (yes, talk back to your dangerous captor, why don't you) but her responses are funny, and the whole idea is interesting. I kind of miss the transitions (it seems to me that you just suddenly come up with new characters and locations) and some of the grammar is iffy, but I'd certainly be reading more of your stuff if I hadn't already been planning to!
Your next review shall come...later. When I'm not so hungry. Tomorrow, probably.
| A Mind Filled With Laughter chapter 7 . 1/9/2008
wow...i am SO confuzzled...my head...
| A Mind Filled With Laughter chapter 2 . 1/9/2008
oo. a turn of events...interesting...VERY interesting...
| elisefey chapter 9 . 1/9/2008
I'm sad that Gaby never got together with Caderyn, but oh well. I thought your comment about peace being too boring for a story was an amusing way to end.
| elisefey chapter 8 . 1/9/2008
It seems really unfair that the Higher Powers took Gabriella's powers away because of Savannah. If they were mad about the curse, they should have punished Savannah instead of Gaby. Sometimes I just don't understand the PTB.
So sad about Chase too.
| elisefey chapter 7 . 1/9/2008
This story kind of has the feel of something like Buffy and Angel. Which is cool. I liked those shows.
I wonder what's going to happen with Savannah.
| elisefey chapter 6 . 1/9/2008
There's some really fun dialog in this chapter. Lots of snappy comebacks. :)
The showdown between Gabriella and Sanders was dramatic!
| elisefey chapter 5 . 1/9/2008
That weird dream sequence was creepy in a cool way. And Mace really is evil to do that to his own brother. I still like Chase.
| elisefey chapter 4 . 1/9/2008
["That was so Hollywood!" Gaby remarked after Chase left.] - ROTFL!
I knew it! Walker was forced to break up with her. Anyway, I'm curious what duties Gabriella is referring to.
| elisefey chapter 3 . 1/9/2008
Yeesh! What happened to make Walker such a jerk so suddenly? But so far I like Chase.