|Reviews for Words of an antirealist|
| Shadows in the Fire chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
I love it! So much! Favorite Stories list here I come!
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
I agree with none of the concrit that your second reviewer gave.
I just loved the whole thing. I can relate so well. (No, duh.)
| she smolders chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
I think you described most of the people out there who fancy themselves a poet. This just left me speechless because it makes me think of myself. Take care.
| Victor Vestitor chapter 1 . 4/20/2007
This is a really good idea, and excellent in many aspects. However, I think it can be improved in many ways as well. In the second stanza, for example, you say, "this girl was so absorbed in her fantasy paper world, that every day, she'd pick up a pen, and write those rhyming stanzas..." The beginning of the sentence leads the reader to expect the girl in question to do something out of the ordinary as a result of her fantasy, but the rest of the sentence doesn't really deliver on that. Lots of people write on a regular basis without being caught up in a fantsy world. What about this girl's writing habit makes her different? You communicate this idea more later in the piece, but it's less clear here.
On a more concrete level, you might want to think about using fewer commas (That's just a stylistic preference, so ignore it if you disagree). And in the parenthetical line, you change tense.
I don't want to give you the impression that I didn't like this piece. I really did. The idea is one that I think a lot of writers can relate to, and your blending of poetry and prose in the format is wonderfully done. I do think that it can be even better if you work on a few parts. But overall, great job.
| Ashelin chapter 1 . 4/20/2007
Um, ok, this was beautiful. Seriously, amazing. I totally can relate. Just. So. Wonderufl. Ok?
"Well, maybe not all of it was beautiful, but it made a lot more sense written."
Fantastic. Amazing job.