Reviews for Something
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 7/1/2007
I like the repition... its well written... thansk for your review... sorry it took so long to return the favor
Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
Great - i liked the message and flow in this.
felicia13 chapter 1 . 4/28/2007
I love the idea of the last two lines ...

"Evidently I'm something

Other than born to follow..." Although this kinda reminds me of the poem you reviewed. Weird, huh?

In any case, since you want real feedback, I think it could do without the rhyming. So many people misuse it that it's become hideously unrecognizable. Ew. Besides, I have a personal preference against it. And I don't always spell it right, hence the pronouns.

The feeling you have behind the poem is really strong and well-developed, but the poem doesn't really reflect it. You use repitition WAY too much (it really dulls the poem; trust me) and the rhyming isn't working. You're setting too many restrictions on yourself by working in a set form. Sometimes that hinders rather than helps. Like, a lot.

BUT, as I've said, there are good parts, like the ending and third stanza. Don't be discouraged! Since you asked for it, I gave. Damn. More Slips. Sorry, again.

Alright. Have a pretty great Saturday night.

All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 4/26/2007
I love this poem. It's so full of emotion and - well, for sure keep writing poetry. It's lovely.

I just read the rest of your reviews - so thank you so much for all of them, and the favourite.

Keep "smiling through the pain",

MiddleSchoolTimeTraveler4 chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
It was a nice poem... i wouldn't do anything to change it... you've got the idea... im just wondering why all your stories are some-what morbid.
MysticMaJix chapter 1 . 4/25/2007
okay I'll help you with your reveiw

I think it's pretty interesting... I like it!
Anna178 chapter 1 . 4/23/2007
Okay, so I came to thank you for the lovely review you left me and try to return the favor(I say try because I'm horrible at reviews) but I noticed your bio, and not only am I also 15 but my name is Anna said some people call you Ana...but...anyway, I'll actually get to the review now. I'm quite a rambler. Sorry.

"Perhaps I'm less

Than what I could be"

The repeatitivity in this poem is done very well, but that part amongst the rest really added something. Sort of like puncuation, I'm not sure how to put it. It's a good thing though. Maybe it's just cause I relate to it.

This flows well and the simplicity works well, even though this isn't neccesarily meaning simple things. Though life is rarely something simple I suppose (see, I'm rambling)

Anyway, in short I liked the way you wrote this and the style to it. A few parts really struck a nerve for me, which is good. So, overall good job and thanks again for your review. I hope my reply hasn't been to long and annoying.

bipedalcooney chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
I really love the thoughtful aspects to this poem; it seems to be a very reflective piece. I love how the truthfulness of the last two lines end the poem. This is very well written. Great work, keep writing, and thank you so much for the review.
WyrdWolf chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
I very much like the message of this poem, and the flow was rather good, although jerky at the ending. If you wanted to perfect this, matching up syllables would make it great to read. I enjoyed reading this at any rate, though.

Frog Tongue chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
Bitterly beautiful...

I love it.

The emotion is clear. Rythem is beautiful
rira-chan chapter 1 . 4/22/2007
i absolutly loved this. so full of emotion and beautifully written. wonerful job!


P.s thank you for your review! also this is really a side comment but youre name it's really funy i dont mean that in any mean way...only because my friend is writting this story and the one character's name is Indianna and people call her Indie or Ana...; it's inda ironic hehe. just wanted to tell you.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 4/21/2007

I'm nothing like you"

I don't know if you're like me or not, but I can easily relate to your poem, which, by the way, you did a great job on.
Definition chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
I love the rhythmic quality - very balanced and never overdone. The meaning in this is very deep. Good job :)

Oh...I love the quotes on your profile :D. and thanks for the review on What If