Mistrelia of the Ice calm down, I'm writing this in 2019 and I'm concerned for you, are you still alive? All that stress over a story on FictionPress. Please, this story is okay, I have read countless stories on here and other sites and let me tell you, there are much, MUCH worse stories out there. I hope your hair isn't prematurely grey. Good luck.

as far as gestures go..that's definitely grand...and incredibly sweet...and just so full of love...

My last review. I have zero happy things to say about this story so...good luck.

And this is where I have to stop. I can't. I might come back to it, but this was just awful. What cop would buy that story? My best friend was literally almost thrown in jail for having a huge boquet of roses from Kroger in his car (though the police around here are always dicks) and I'm expected to believe this cop would drop proper drug chargers for a sob story? Also, what person in their right mind would accept someone's drugs as their own when they have responsibilities to take care of over covering for a guy? Especially if she cares about getting her PHD? And for that matter, he's just going to smooth over the bet huh? Or is she going to find out, get mad at him, he does something romantic, she forgives him, and that's that? I'm really disappointed with this chapter, but hey, I'm sure you tried your best. Good luck with whatever else you have going on.

This chapter...was very unpleasant. Again, my opinion, I'm sure a lot of people like your work and I think that's pretty cool, but I'll just be honest in saying this chapter was incredibly displeasing to me. Jealousy can be such a fun thing to write but I just don't have many words for this chapter. Sorry.

You wanted age and sex? Twenty two and female. And I apologize in advance, I had to skip a large chunk of this particular chapter. It held little to no appeal to me. I love that moment when reading where your heart pounds when two characters are close to one another, that their stress becomes yours in a tender moment, but this is very...I don't know how to explain it, but I don't get excited from their relationship. It still feels like I'm reading a very plain teenage romance.

Every time you type "Do you trust me?" I'm reminded of Aladdin. And I understand the whole "Have characters think stuff like 'there's no way I'm falling for he/she' while furthering the plot" but neither of them are stupid people and it feels a little too far into a relationship to use that. Again, literally all of my reviews are just opinion, nothing more, but I really hope good things from the rest of this story.

Isn't this a lot for just five hundred bucks? When's the chapter where she finds out, is betrayed, he begs her forgiveness, he's hot so she forgives him...I sincerely hope you have more plot for me. In any case, I'm probably being more bitchy than I should be (gotta love a sore throat at four in the morning) but I really hope for more out of this story.

Ah, fun seeing this part of your story when I put in my first review that I thought you had taken lines directly from Legally Blonde.

He has a dramatic backstory...conveniently told to her around the time she's mad at him. It's just bad enough that she cries over him and now they're together. He has a special place in the woods. I'm sorry, but this is very, very...I guess frustrating is a good word.

I'll probably stop reviewing for a while, at least until I read more...the fact that she has a roommate that's obsessed with getting her into bed with a guy she barley knows is also a common cliche but in this case, I'm quite a bit in and I still struggle to remember names. I suppose I'm just super picky with my stories. Like I said, you're not a bad writer, but this story has been written, and I like many other versions more. Might I suggest another story on here? It's called London Calling (or London's Calling...I have terrible memory) about a girl in a similar situation you have here, but I find it very beautifully written by the person who wrote it, the characters are charming and quirky, with a few exceptions and some cliches here and there, but overall, quite amazing. I admire whoever wrote it, but maybe it could give you a few ideas to include more characters than just the ones necessary for your plot or to speed things along.

Ouch. I really, really, really dislike this character the more I read. I actually know a girl that goes by Ray, has dark hair and lovely eyes (though not blue) and she wouldn't dare use someone just to get back at another person, and then put the blame on them. At least take responsibility for your own actions. I also am not finding myself connected to the guy. I have no reason to. He doesn't seem to have much depth as well, other than the pretty boy after "a girl who's different than the others" when she's being exactly like the stuck up, jealous person we've all seen doing exactly what your main character is doing...

I'm a little confused. She's had three conversations with the guy, most of them just arguments, and they're acting as if they have the most complicated relationship in the world. I'm just not feeling any depth to why she cares about him other than he's a hot guy paying her attention. My problem is, stories like this seem to start off with "I'm the shy nerd and he's the hot playboy" which is a fun plot line, but your character literally has to put on a dress and take off the glasses, and suddenly she's no different than Lina. She can be jealous, vindictive, assumptive, and is okay with just doing whatever on a whim. It makes me feel very disconnected to the girl you created in the begginning. Personally, I hate the "Oh, I'm meek and shy" approach, so I liked that you deviated a bit, but again? This girl seems like a hot girl who's a little too stuck up to hang out with the other beauties so she tries to be "different" from them, but is still a pretty good copy. I'll continue reading.

It really doesn't make for a character I empathize with when they suddenly become worse than the person who they're trying to get back at. Someone hurt me so I'll use someone else. Again, your writing isn't bad, but I've read it before. I'll keep reading though. Once I start a story, I at least hope the ending is fresh.

It's his sister/family member/old best friend he's not interested in at all, she's going to turn herself into a whore to make him jealous, then bitch when she makes a fool of herself...it's not that your story is bad, but I've read it before, just by many, many other authors. Why not put a little mix into things?