Reviews for Dear Jim
Christine chapter 1 . 7/31/2012
I see this was written to it awhile ago. I hope the scars are now gone and you are better. I was also hurt like that as a child when I was maybe 5 or 6 by an uncle. I don't remember much of this event and I don't know if it happened more than once. I don't really hate the thing that hurt me; I still fear it because I'm still young. I repressed those memories as a child so my family never found out. Lucky for me he was arrested awhile back and spent TWO years in jail for KIDNAPPING and RAPING a fourteen-year-old (my age now).

Seeing him get such a low sentence is a big reason for why I've never said anything. His defense was that the girl (he met online) claimed to be eighteen and to him looked no younger than sixteen at the least. He met up with her in her state, took her into his car, and drove into his state where the girl had no idea where she was and had no money, phone, or a way to call for help or communicate with her family. They spent time in a hotel room and had sex. The poor girl was 14. In no state is that the age of consent! But what gets me the most upset about this is that he does not get entered into the system of rapists/molesters online or any of the sort. He can move next to a school, and the kids won't get those fliers that warn that he's a fucking pedophile.

Just...whatever. I used to cut myself back in middle school. I didn't really know why either. I felt sad all the time and wanted to die so I started cutting up my arms with all sorts of fun things. I got caught and my mom sent me to the most idiotic therapist ever for 2-3 months before she realized the therapist was a whack. The therapist made me meditate and do very stupid things to try and help. But then again, I only recently remembered my trauma and at the time didn't know why I felt so awful.

I realize now that I was starting to slowly regain parts of the memories; i.e. I started feeling very dirty in these years and hated to be touched. I had a guy friend who was the only person I used to touch though, and only poking or musing his hair. He made me feel safe because he could shoot guns and had switchblades and army knives.

In freshman year of high school I only made friends with guys who were either gay or nerdy because I consider them harmless. I hate going through the hallways because there's so many people everywhere and sometimes a boy or a girl will brush against you by accident. I don't mind when other girls do it, but when boys do it I really feel bothered and dirty for a few minutes.

I don't hate this evil man because I fear him too much for any other emotion. I wish I could hate him, because then maybe I would be courageous enough to tell someone. Thanks to him I'll never be okay. I may read M-rated things on the fiction sites out of curiosity and boredom, maybe I have gotten "aroused" by them, and I have explored myself before, but I can't have someone do the same to me.

I would like to get a boyfriend in senior year or after, but at this age boys just can't help but want sex. Even if the boy would settle for second and third base and all the oral and other things, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't even want to try either, because it's just so gross to me. When I do get into a relationship it is going to move SUPER slow; no kissing until we're a few weeks in. And I'm not close to being ready for sex- even if I was good with the idea I'd wait until I'm twenty or older. But what man would be okay with that? I also have a long list of other things he'd have to follow so I'd be comfortable with him as well, so I consider myself rather hopeless. I considered being a lesbian, and as of right now if I find a nice, sweet girl who liked me, I wouldn't be appalled to trying out that type of relationship. Another girl can't hurt me, and would be sweet enough to wait until I'm ready for the next steps since girls aren't half as horny as men.

I sort of wonder if you or other molestation/rape victims think the same way. Especially with the lesbian thing. I would love to be in a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't seem too plausible in this time.

I don't know how other victims think so your letter was helpful and insightful to me. It shows the other side to the victims, the hateful, bitter, depressed rage that some of us have. I've never seen anything like this before, and I feel deeply sorry that you and your family had to go through this.

Sorry, this was all kind of irrelevant. I kinda just wanted to rant to someone who understands. I've never laid all of this out in one place so it's messy and long and a waste of your perfectly good and progressive time.

So goodbye, then.
Layla the fiend chapter 1 . 8/9/2008
Did you kill him? You should have.
KatieTheWriter chapter 1 . 2/27/2008
He didn't even deserve the sincerely at the end of the letter! What a disguisting, pervert, prick! I'm so sorry for what you went through. Tears were brought to my eyes to even know that a man can do that to a little girl.

God bless you.
R.L. Keane chapter 1 . 5/3/2007
Even as I write this, tears are in my eyes. I know exactly how you feel. Believe me, I know. I applaud you for being able to write this. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I've tried writing about my past some, but I put down the pen as soon as I pick it up. I do believe that there is always hope though, even when sometimes the damage seems too great. I guess all I want to say is... keep writing. You're good at it. And God bless.
Teh Outtawacked chapter 1 . 5/3/2007
this seriously made me cry...

i think-no i KNOW that your gunna get over this, and life will have a lot of wonderful things for you. scars will eventually fade. We love you pookims!

death to that bastard though...jeez.

ps. i'm glad i met you. ( or that you stumbled across me)
heresyisforlosers chapter 1 . 4/21/2007
Powerful. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Jim deserves everything you said.