Reviews for At the Hallway's End |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Brilliant! I like the repeated chorus type part, it worked to send your message. :) This is so sad and full of meaning! Makes me want to cry! |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was really cool! I really like how you kept repeating and then at the end you added that nice last line. Good job! _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really liked this one. At some points it flowed so smoothly, but in others it... well, didn't. And it got hard to read whenever the flowyness (not a word, I know) stopped. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You've a flair for poetry, I'll give you that. It's not easy to write something of this scope using rhymes without it sounding a little kiddish, but I thought you did quite a good job at that. While I felt the flow of the poem was a little awkward at times, I liked the emotion conveyed here. I'll be looking forward to reading more from you. And if you don't mind telling, where'd you get your pen name from? It's quite interesting. |
![]() ![]() I don't like the "stay alive" part because it sticks out and sounds awkward after "survive," if that makes any sense. Sorry I can't give you a proper review with proper constructive critism because although I know you want it, this song is so close to you and I'd feel guilt at nitpicking it's technical difficulties. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sometimes the rhythm upped when it should've downed, but that only happened about once or twice so it's okay. :D I love this! It's so easy to sing to. Now if only the chorus would keep the same tune every time I sing it! xD *laughs at own idiocy* I don't understand it, though. :( It usually takes me a while to dig deeper into these poem things. . . I'm better at analysing stories, really. It's awesome! :D It doesn't even have to rhyme, it's got the perfect sway. Good job! *thumbs up* ~ C.S. |
![]() ![]() ![]() konban wa This is such a sad song. It really pulls at heartstrings, you know? It's really beautiful. Do you sing or just write songs? This is really amazing, really sad. Ki o tsukete nee, tomodachi -Shan- |
![]() ![]() i love this. the end line, that's really good. i liked how you fit that in. nice. the used-bruised part sounds kinda forced. but i really like the i wont deny- i lied part. overall, NICE JOB MEI! supachoo sweetie |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love how the rhyme scheme in this poem is seemingly incidental... Some people write poems just to rhyme, but here you tell a story that just so happens to flow and rhyme... Very nice form. |
![]() ![]() ![]() YOU HAVE STANZAS. i love you and you rock. (this is like a song.) like the soft rhyming; it isn't harsh and doesn't distract from the poem but gives it a nice rhythm instead (like what good rhyming is supposed to do) god this is heartbreaking. "At every hallway, there’s an end – every hallway has a door./At some point every tenant knows that the time has come to go." really like how it's metaphorical (not sure if that was your intention) the repetition was nice; contributed a lot to the feeling/emotion of the poem throughout |