Brilliant! I like the repeated chorus type part, it worked to send your message. :)

This is so sad and full of meaning! Makes me want to cry!

That was really cool! I really like how you kept repeating and then at the end you added that nice last line. Good job! _

I really liked this one.

At some points it flowed so smoothly, but in others it... well, didn't. And it got hard to read whenever the flowyness (not a word, I know) stopped.

You've a flair for poetry, I'll give you that. It's not easy to write something of this scope using rhymes without it sounding a little kiddish, but I thought you did quite a good job at that. While I felt the flow of the poem was a little awkward at times, I liked the emotion conveyed here. I'll be looking forward to reading more from you.

And if you don't mind telling, where'd you get your pen name from? It's quite interesting.

I don't like the "stay alive" part because it sticks out and sounds awkward after "survive," if that makes any sense. Sorry I can't give you a proper review with proper constructive critism because although I know you want it, this song is so close to you and I'd feel guilt at nitpicking it's technical difficulties.

Sometimes the rhythm upped when it should've downed, but that only happened about once or twice so it's okay. :D I love this! It's so easy to sing to. Now if only the chorus would keep the same tune every time I sing it! xD *laughs at own idiocy*

I don't understand it, though. :( It usually takes me a while to dig deeper into these poem things. . . I'm better at analysing stories, really.

It's awesome! :D It doesn't even have to rhyme, it's got the perfect sway. Good job! *thumbs up*

~ C.S.

konban wa

This is such a sad song. It really pulls at heartstrings, you know? It's really beautiful. Do you sing or just write songs? This is really amazing, really sad.

Ki o tsukete nee, tomodachi

-Shan-

i love this.

the end line, that's really good.

i liked how you fit that in.

nice.

the used-bruised part sounds kinda forced.

but i really like the i wont deny- i lied part.

overall, NICE JOB MEI!

supachoo sweetie

I love how the rhyme scheme in this poem is seemingly incidental... Some people write poems just to rhyme, but here you tell a story that just so happens to flow and rhyme... Very nice form.

YOU HAVE STANZAS. i love you and you rock.

(this is like a song.)

like the soft rhyming; it isn't harsh and doesn't distract from the poem but gives it a nice rhythm instead (like what good rhyming is supposed to do)

god this is heartbreaking.

"At every hallway, there’s an end – every hallway has a door./At some point every tenant knows that the time has come to go." really like how it's metaphorical (not sure if that was your intention)

the repetition was nice; contributed a lot to the feeling/emotion of the poem throughout