I like how you used hair as a mode of metaphor. The act of braiding hair is so motherly, and affectionate, and then to have that paired with the idea of abandonment was very strong. I saw the burnt ‘straw’ conclusion as a sign that the narrator no longer cared about the other person. That the person who left was dead to them. A fascinating little poem. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

Juliet.

Jules, via the Review Marathon (link in my profile)

I can feel the dry heat. Ick. A slight feel of abandonment here, too, and languidness.

so simple but at the same time quite powerful. anymore and the original hit of it would be lost, and the hurt that shines gently through. good work.

The way that everything is laid out so simply in this poem makes the emotions in it feel even sadder and more complex than on first glance. I like this a lot.