I LOVE YOUR BOOK IT IS SO FREAKING AWESOME I JUST FONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY IT IS SOOOOOO GOOD I LOVE CHARLEY HE IS SO SWEET!

Jill is such a bitch. Star needs to realise who her friends are.

loved it

I just read this story in one sitting, which is quite unusual for me (even though I was supposed to be studying XD) It was worth it though.

I loved the plot the base of it was cliche but the plot made it very unique in it's own way and it was pretty fast paced and easy to read.

The characters were realistic and I adored Charley and Star, they suited one another. The happy ending didn't just fall into place either, they really had to work for it.

Thank you for writing this story, I'd love to see more from you in the future :)

Hello jade-dusk,

I’m getting more used to read stories within the category Romance, and this sure is one of the stories that’s getting me even closer to liking those stories. Lately I’ve been reading more stories than writing them myself, and it’s kind of annoying, want to know why? I’m reading stories that are COMPLETELY the opposite – genre-wise – to the stories I’m writing! Like; I’m writing fanfiction, and not that much fiction – tried to before, but I’m removed all of it – and I read Harry Potter stories involving Lily and James when I’m supposed to write stories involving Naruto and the characters Naruto and Minato as father and son . . . great isn’t it?

Anyway, enough of my gibberish, I’m here to leave a review, and I’m one of those people who enjoy to receive reviews with both positive and negative things about the story, so prepare yourself for some critique . . . I’m using three headlines to kind of . . . organise this review, and they’re going to be ‘negative’, ‘positive’ and ‘questions & wonderings’. I’ll most likely not write more than three or four matters beneath each headline, oh, and one more thing; I’m not going to check this review for spelling mistakes, you’ve got deal with me, and also; non-native speaker, but who gives a damn nowadays?

POSITIVE:

(I write this all the time, but whatever . . . this is one of the main reasons for me actually reading a story to begin with) The beginning of the story was good. It wasn’t like this; they met, put rabbits to shame and BOM! They live happily ever after. You had an introduction, and that’s something most people forget about. From my point of view, I kind of like the plot in general actually. It’s not a super long story, and everything happens quite fast, and I know that in real life relationships either develops relatively slow or extremely fast. So, since a lot of stories out there have got this “long-development-relationship” going on, it’s nice to see something that’s from the other kind of “relationship development pace”. And how come I see this as a fast develop— blah blah, whatever, is because relationships can take years and this didn’t, so I liked it.

You’re great with grammar, spelling, capitalization, as well as with the details, descriptions, emotions and realistic writing. It’s something I appreciate with stories, though . . . ty~ypos. Don’t you love them? Just like you love a pain in the arse . . . I can understand why typos appear though – for it to be flawless and contain no mistakes whatsoever is quite inevitable, though, that doesn’t matter – I like it when there are some mistakes. It shows me that this person likes to write, for fun, and is not a perfectionist who writes for the publicity. Bu~ut . . . I think you’ll need to be a bit more careful when typing away on the keyboard, because some of the mistakes are quite wretched and shouldn’t really be there.

You had no sex! Freaking hell yeah! In my opinion sex is overrated, so for someone to write out ALL the sex scenes with ALL the details is quite unnecessary, and I think that’s something to think about concerning your future writing: do not add sex scenes. Sex is not allowed on FP or FFN and it actually pisses me off that people add it in their stories. I’ve got nothing against sex, though if I were an admin on this site, I’d probably report the stories at once . . . but that’s not how things are . . . by being an author here, you’ve got certain responsibilities, and you’ve got to be a good example to other authors as well as readers. You can get an AdultFF account and put an uncut version over there, where you’ve got the sex, but NOT here. This is not something you can blame on; “But everybody else have sex in their stories” or “Since so many people write and read sex themselves, why would it be a problem to add it in my stories?” It’s not about that; it’s about rules as well as safety concerning children. I don’t think you want your own – let’s say eleven-year-old – kid ask you about anal sex and why people have it, hmm.

Charley (I love the way you spelt his name) has a great view on life, and I like it very much. He makes Star realize that life’s about so much more than just impressing other people in your environment. I look upon life pretty much the same way as Charley, but I don’t have the guts to tell other people about it – people I don’t know. When my friends start acting up, saying that they’re fat and look ugly, I usually go into Charley mode xD

NEGATIVE:

It was too short of a story. Period. Lawl. And I’m honest actually; I couldn’t find anything that bothered me until no end or anything like that. This is probably the first time I don’t have anything to say underneath the negative headline . . . so; congratulations. Hmm . . . I’m still trying to come up with something . . . there may be some minor things I can bring up though, and one of those is that it’s “angry with” and not “angry at” when you’re pissed and someone. Like; “Why are you angry with me? Have I done something wrong?” It’s a minor thing, and I know this because I study grammar like freaking hell, so yeah. I’m not that surprised, a lot of people mess up on this part.

To be extremely picky – it was very cliché to set this in high school, get them together via partnership in class, one is popular and the one is a nerd, and something tragic happens when it gets closer to the end – the coma part in this case. It was EXTREMELY cliché, but your characters were quite different from the stories I’ve read before, so that’s something I liked about it very much, and in all honesty, I think that’s the reason for me keeping on reading it. When you’ve got great characters, the setting and plot can be pretty much as cliché as the most clichéest thing can be – excuse my lack of sanity here.

QUESTIONS & WONDERINGS:

a) How did you come up with this plot? Did you get your inspiration from an event in real life; did you read a story to get some inspiration, or what happened? I know that this may look like a strange question, but I’d like to know as a growing author, as well as a reader of this story. I want to know how you thought. Stalker waning i.e.

b) You know if we’ll see more of you in the future, or have you given up on FP writing? I can see the potential of becoming a potent author so don’t let your talents get wasted. Doesn’t matter if it’s fiction writing or not, oh bloody— write a book or whatever. You sure do have some talents. I did notice though, that you’ve got some stories in your gallery, and I plan to read them, or at least give them a chance, so hopefully they’ll be as good as this story was, or even better. This was written a couple of years ago, so I think your writing skills have improved some, but that doesn’t make me less enthusiastic about reading those stories, perhaps a bit skeptic. Some authors develop as an author and all that shit, but then; bam. It’s not for the better. So yes, I hope it’s for the better with you, not to scare you or anything, but I’m just saying.

c) How old are you really? Because to me it seems as if you’re at least in your mid twenties – I bet you’re like . . . 13-ish merely because I said that – and concerning the structure of the story you’re amazing with your writing. If you’ve mentioned this in your authors notes, I’m sorry for not reading everything in them; I usually skim the AN’s and read stuff that are stressed by being underlined etc..

That’s all I’ve got to say, and I’ve just very glad that you’ve written this story. I’ve said it once before, but really; this is a good story but some parts were just weird. Btw, I’m too lazy (YES! I am lazy; I think we agree on that, hmm?) to go back and look for errors in this reviews – even though I left a certain negative comment about this . . . damn . . . – so you’ll just have to bear with me today. I’ve got school tomorrow, so it’s sleep that’s next on my list of things to do. Dream. Live. Read. Write. All for fiction. Cheers.

WAIT! One more thing, I just read the note you put up after the last chapter. I just want to say one thing: FUCK YOU WORLD! I can’t understand why people CONSTANTLY have to steal other peoples’ works! It pisses me off so much that it’s not even near funny! I want to see these peoples’ heads on a fucking platter. It’s not acceptable, and I’m sorry if I’m acting all crazy here, but FUCK THEM! GO~OSH! It just pisses me off so much . . . I hate it.

Huggles,

Mi

That was a greatly awesome teffic story! Tears are coming to my eyes right now. Thank you so much for writing this! I enjoyed it greatly. I love this story! Well have a nice day or night and i thank you again!

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oh my god that's amazing! seriously, you should consider publishing it, it's that good!

I jeez this story was just SO AMAZING, i just couldn't stop reading! :D ah just ah so amazing! god i can't wait to read the next one! :D i really hope this gets published one day, i would be proud to have it on my shelf.

I liked it it suprised me when he was in a coma. It was really interesting

Feathers

holy crow i loved it i cried when charley went into coma and cried when he came back. thank you for a great story blessed be.

the story was great and you made me cry when charley went into coma (i seriously cried my eyes i was also listening to leave out all the rest by linkin park not a good combo)lol Please make seuqel!

gr...I feel like punching star.

Like, honestly, if I found out my gothic best friend was psycic I would be like, "OMFG NOW WAY! Ok, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Dunno, thats just me. but this is a really awsome story, you have no idea. You should publish something someday.

I love this story!

Charley is awsome, i love the characters too.

Can't wait to read more!

just putting this is my fav to read later, just incase i cant find it, so basically this review is shit, i'm sure its a very good story, i know im gonna like it