Reviews for gather up your hearts and go
Tytherpol chapter 1 . 5/29/2007
it's great.
wishing.on.echoes chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
This is one of my favourite pieces, some days when I can't sleep and he's already gone to bed, I read your pieces, this one always grabs my attention.
KonekOniko chapter 1 . 5/23/2007
I love how raw you can be, but I agree with ADD-chan, derogatory language can ruin the poem, not so much in this piece as I've seen in others, but be wary. You touch on subjects that many others dare not to even breathe and do it wonderfully. Simply, your writing makes me smile with it's beauty.
dollface and her cancer chapter 1 . 5/21/2007
it is haunting hard cold merciless beautiful, and what else can be said?
Bonjour Skitty chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
"she loved fucking girls against the backseat of cars

raw and angry and hurt

she told me:

she loved making them pretty

purple and blue and red bruises peppering their backs"

I absolutely ADORE your writing style. The descriptive flare in those lines is hard to miss.. not only does it bring out the girl's attitude (to me, seeming like she's arrogant in thinking only -she- can make girls beautiful, and the control she wants over them), but the visual image comes to mind as well.

I'm favoriting this. Yupyup. .

~ Much love,

Bleached Roses
Anaare chapter 1 . 5/14/2007
A wonderfully raw poem. The interesting format/lay-out of the poem also added to it effectiveness. Indeed a fascinating read. Well done.
poet tree chapter 1 . 5/12/2007
This reminds me of the Jack Off Jill song "When I Am Queen". Because it's so beautifully bitter, I think. I love it.
synapse collapse chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
HEY! :D Your formatting is so unique/interesting that it never fails to catch my attention. Ah, this is really beautiful. The style that it's written in, complete with the imagery and the way the storyline(?) is portrayed is really really really gorgeous. :) GUH I just love this.
queenvixta chapter 1 . 5/11/2007
Beautiful as always. Breath-taking poem. Brilliant work.

{ V }
i brake for franzy chapter 1 . 5/9/2007
a beautiful and sly style of writing. altogether brilliant.

however few or far between your updates may be, every last word makes up for it.

i'll be looking forward to more.

arcane devices chapter 1 . 5/8/2007
hmm, i must say it has been quite a while since your last update and since my last review on fictionpress. what better way to come back on fictionpress and expect an update from you. hehe. anyways, on to the poem... not much to say, i'spose it's somewhat brutal, and raw. stanza one starts the poem off quite well by setting the tone and the mood in a state of dejection. stanza two, for the most part was alright. i winced when i saw the word "fucking" because it highly extentuates the impact of the piece. as a poet, i believe one should not use curse words to describe a certain image or poetry, in general - not because it's considered to be "vile language" but because it is severely restricting on the writer's part. when writing, you can bend and twist and crunch words into how you see fit. but by using the word "fucking", you no longer have that option. as a poet, you should be obligated to directly portraying how you feel... but by using such words, you're taking away all the grandeurs of poetry (and some would arguably scoff at the piece and label the writer as "immature" or "undeveloped"). especially because we're living in a world where foul language has lost it's shock value. i think the stanza would have retained more of it's poetic sense had you replaced the word "fucking" with something along the lines of "numbing" or "shattering". i also don't understand the second line of the second verse... queen of hearts? is that her nickname? and if so, what relevence does this serve to the piece in general? alright, moving on to the third stanza/one liner. i think the third stanza more or less describes the whole poem in general - it gives the reader a recap on the poem, which at times can be a benefit and at others prove to be a catastrophe. i'm a bit split on both ends with stanza three - it has potential but i think what takes away from it is that it feels like something's missing during your first two verses. ok, now we get to the foruth stanza, the conclusion of the piece... the "noir" effect is well-executed but the formatting of this piece is/was really bugging me. uhm, yeah about stanza five/the last line... i'm sure you were feeling inspired when writing this but it left me(as a reader) in a really awkward state. there's no relevance to the poem to the visible eye and it really really undermines and makes your poetry look shoddy. all in all, i feel that as a poet you are still progressing (and quickly might i add) and that your own sense of style is becoming more and more clear. it's just that there are certain lines that i find unnecessary in your poetry, and "a few lines" in poetry (yours especially) means ALOT. ypu're getting there though... and i'll see you on your next update. - ADD-san
she smolders chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
I read this doing class and had to try to hold in my tears. This is gorgeous and sexy and scary and sad all at the same time. I can't even think straight after reading something so amazing. There's so much power in the last line especially. Take care.
classic violet chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
as always, you are a goddess among poets.

I loved ii. especially. you're so talented and amazing. keep writing.
riotmaker chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
oh god this is fucking beautiful.

just amazing.


yeah that's all i have to say.

you're a fucking god(dess).
this young lady chapter 1 . 5/6/2007
wo you posted! D

argh i love this (& you & your poetry) so much. its heartbreakingly pretty. lovely. xx
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