Reviews for Vivid Preview
antigonelives chapter 1 . 6/5/2007
Like the other reviewer said, I give you kudos for interesting characters. Most stories I've read on this site have lifeless characters, and this is a welcome change.

I too would suggest not rushing through this. It feels rushed, probably because of all that dialogue and the rather hasty opening.

Also, yay for it being well-written! I hope you continue!

shakespearewannabe chapter 1 . 5/7/2007

Good/ Your characters are interesting, particularly Aislin and I really do think you could things with this beginning.

Bad/ You need to work not doing so much narrative explanation, which slows down the story's pace and jars the reader out of the character's world. Try putting more explanation in the dialogue (i.e. when you're explaining why Aislin and Ellen are friends, SHOW it, don't tell it. Show it through their dialogue.

But a good beginning, and one that will turn into something, I'm sure.