Reviews for Somebody Like You
Carlette chapter 13 . 9/11/2008
Yeah, this IM conversation didn't make a good epilogue.

Rain being all depressed over this Joe dude was a bit irritating. Mostly because you never introduced his character so Rain didn't get my sympathy. It's almost like Ethan may just be a rebound because he'll take him, when Joe won't.

Honestly, this story didn't make me feel anything. Probably because there's such a lack of description. I think the T rating is too high for this.

So the question is, do I add this to my C2?

I don't mean to sound like a total bitch, but I'm going to say no. I couldn't anyway, since it isn't in the young adult category.

If you took the time to build on the characters and the descriptions, I'd add it! Also, if the chapters weren't about 500 words long, that'd be better.

I'll check out your other story though!

Sorry if I sounded like a bitch, I really hate being mean.
Kneecap chapter 8 . 9/11/2008
You know what? I didn't even read this chapter. I've given up. What a waste of my time.
Kneecap chapter 7 . 9/11/2008
I forgot to ask in the last chapter what the point of Ana was. She said one line and then disappeared. Just because a story is about a male male relationship, it doesn't give you an excuse to cut out all the other characters.

It took you until now to state that Rain wears glasses? That really says it all about your powers of description. No one thinks like Rain does. Unless they have Multiple Personality Disorder. Do you know what Rain REALLY needs? Someone to slap him and tell him to GET THE HELL OVER IT.

You never actually said that he turned the monitor off, so why mention him turning it on again?

"But, I can't

like you back. I'm a Christian and don't

believe in it." - that line actually makes me angry. You're lumping all Christians into the category of 'bigots'. Well, dear, one day you'll discover that there are Christians who actually have open minds.

End of the chapter was woe-is-me and irritating.
Kneecap chapter 6 . 9/11/2008
I feel dirty just for reviewing this. Rain gets super depressed and angsty just because he likes a guy? What a load of shit. Your storyline is about as original as a blade of grass.

The way you write angst is frankly annoying, but it doesn't even come close to how annoying your characters are. This story is beyond redemption.
Kneecap chapter 5 . 9/11/2008
And now the angst begins. Because no one saw that coming. Most people with half a brain cell actually just accept that they like the same gender and then either come out of the closet or keep it to themselves. They don't whine about it...to themselves.

You know, I really hope Rain gets hit by a bus in the next chapter. I hate him that much. Ethan blushed when he was offered candy? FFS.

"However, the night happened without incident." - Well isn't that a surprise. Hows about you break the mould and actually describe what happened during the night? Who knows, it might even be interesting.
Carlette chapter 12 . 9/11/2008
Wait, so they weren't at the school, were they? They were at the library. But what were they doing there if no one else was there too?

And I don't get what the point of this murderer is. There were no hints about a potential murder, and he doesn't seem to have a motive. It's like you all of a sudden got the idea that there should be a murder and then added it in.

And how did Rain get a nerf gun? Where did that come from? And he just conveniently left pants with chains in the library?
Kneecap chapter 4 . 9/11/2008
This story makes me want to find someone and punch them repeatedly in the groin. Rain is clearly mentally deficient and I would have thought that he would be getting the extra help with learning that he so clearly needs.

You cannot just write 200 odd words and then pass it off as a chapter. This is nothing. Just another pointless tidbit of information.

"taking a drink of the liquid in his water bottle. He sighed with delight. “Yum! Peppermint tea!” He clapped his hands together." - how could he clap his hands together if he was holding a water bottle?
Carlette chapter 11 . 9/11/2008
This situation seems so unlikely.

I'm still not sure if they are the only ones at the school or not.
Kneecap chapter 3 . 9/11/2008
So Ethan apparently becomes Erik halfway down this chapter. I find the idea of Rain not being able to recognise Ethan ridiculous. If he has some kind of amnesia then you pulled it off badly, and it just ends up looking contrived.

"Her brown eyes smiled." - eyes can't smile and if that was an attempt at a metaphor, it didn't work for me. The only thing about Rain that's infectious is his idiocy. The way you just skip over every event really annoys me. It's lazy and, in short, makes your story an incredibly boring read. I'm only reading on because I have nothing better to do at the moment.
Kneecap chapter 2 . 9/11/2008
This chapter was a waste of time. I'm not even going to bother quoting. It was ridiculously short, there was no characterisation of any kind, and Rain is really starting to get on my tits.

The ending was just...a joke. You put no description into anything, and you just seize a small idea and assume it'll work as a plot. it won't.
Carlette chapter 10 . 9/11/2008
Well... I'm not sure what to say.

This gave off the feeling of a B-horror movie. I doubt they would be the only ones left at school, seeing as administrators stay after for a few hours.
Kneecap chapter 1 . 9/11/2008
I send very critical reviews in advance, just so you know.

I don't like this line: "Another day, more friends to make... then to move away from..." - too woe-is-me.

Have you got anything less commonplace about your character to describe? "blond hair" and "blue eyes" are really just too vague.

Your chapters are too short. You skip out huge chunks of detail about the day. I frankly find Rain's character to be UNbelievable. In a bad way. There's a thin line between endearing and moronic and I think Rain falls into the latter.
Carlette chapter 9 . 9/11/2008
A corpse?

The ending is what saved this chapter, because it honestly wasn't very engaging. But now I'm wondering who they found behind the bookshelf.
Carlette chapter 7 . 9/11/2008
I don't even know what to think about Joe. He hasn't even been introduced and we have no clue what he's like.

The bit about him being a christian and he doesn't "believe in it" pissed me off, to be honest. I feel like it puts christians into a stereotype.
Carlette chapter 6 . 9/11/2008
I think you should have introduced Ana earlier. If she's their friend, it would be nice to know more about her. Unless she isn't that important to the story. But then it would have been kind of pointless to even have her there in the first place.

I'll keep reading! It makes it more interesting that there's another guy that Rain really likes, instead of him liking Ethan right away.
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