Reviews for With Intent
wtfwaswrongwithteenme chapter 21 . 5/18/2009
I loved it! Hehe Adam was so cute and ocd it made me wanna pull him out of the computor. The only thing I have to say is please try to break up your paragraphs since peope are reading this online it makes it hard to focus and keep your place
sern chapter 21 . 5/10/2009
Holy crap.

I'm one of those people who read things and hardly pick up anything from it because of distraction. I don't know what it is, but I can't concentrate on almost anything.

But this story... crap, I read it straight through without taking any breaks. Nothing in it bored me, and unlike a lot of things I've read on FictionPress, it wasn't too predictable.

Well done. Seriously.
gypsy madamme chapter 21 . 4/27/2009
what i really liked about this story was adam's gradual discovery of joe. they felt like real people. honestly i have no words to describe how much i truly enjoyed this story. everything, the plot, the way adam can't really handle the visions, joe on the edge, and the aunt and mother were quite amusing as well.
me chapter 21 . 4/17/2009
i love you. i love the ending. i love them. i would have your babies if i could. this is by far my favourite story on fp. so much so that i think i just read it for the third time (even though im normally a firm believer in that the first time you read a story with all the unknowns and what-ifs drawing you forward is the best time). the tones and voice and feelings are just perfect. if i could find this stories equal it would make my month.
Printfox chapter 21 . 4/5/2009
Right. I know I may be the worst person on the face of the planet for reviewing this without logging in-cause it totally deserves better than that-but I'd probably say something dumber than usual if I didn't review right now, and I'd be kicking myself for a week if I didn't review at all.

Hence my sincerely hoping that you actually get this. That would be nice.

To sum up my current thought process, I think your story is gorgeous. I hated the first two chapters and kept asking myself why the heck I was reading it, and then the writing style, Adam's narration, the word choice you use just sort of clicked, and I couldn't stop reading. I bet if I went back and read the first chapters now, I'd love them as much as the rest of the story.

I love the descriptions of Adam's psyche; I really lived for them in this. It sounds like you speak from personal experience (and yes, I do realize that's none of my business, but I'll say it anyway), and whether you do or not every moment of it is wholly believable. You've portrayed psychic talent in the way that makes people who aren't even sure they believe in it jealous, and managed to create both a convincingly unstable hero who is quite easily lovable. Kudos to you on that one, there's no way in the world I could manage it.

I might as well put in some constructive criticism, since I'm so determined to waste your time, so here goes. Adam and Joe were both great, fun characters; believably stupid in human interaction-utterly convincing characters, something not many people can write, well done-in my mind it would be terribly hard to improve anything written about them. You could probably do it if you really wanted to, but the point I'm trying to make is that I think you did a fantastic job. Whatever you did there, I love it and advise you to keep doing it. As far as real complaints go, Charlie got left by the wayside after a bit, which was sad but not really harmful to your story. That's about it. The drama was played up perfectly at all the right moments, the ending was satisfactory without being utterly sappy-again, massive kudos to you- and the whole story meshed in a way that leaves me feeling a bit annoyed, because I ought to be complaining more, but there's a depressing lack of stuff to complain about.

I hope my review will provide some fuel to the ongoing war against procrastination, or at least brighten your day a bit. You deserve it. Great story. It certainly brightened mine!
lotrdeana17 chapter 21 . 4/2/2009
This story was amazing! I think I enjoyed it even more than Out of Bounds. I absolutely love your characters here. Adam is one-of-a-kind. He's amazing and so vivid. Such a unique and awesome character. I could picture him so clearly in my head. Reading this was like watching a movie. You really are a very talented author. This story is better than a lot of published things I've read. I really admire your impeccable style. You moved the plot along so nicely too. It all fit together and came to a nice ending, though again, I wish it was longer. I'd LOVE to see a sequel or a series with these two. Such intriguing personalities. They would make a terrific detective team in possible future installments.

I really loved it! Keep up the amazing work! All the best to you,

- Deana
Taisi chapter 21 . 4/1/2009
I absolutely adore this story. Adam is so adorable, and I'm really glad he and Joe were able to come together.
Just Another Wannabe chapter 21 . 3/29/2009
I've read your story six times already. Not a fan of the format, but I like the story enough to ignore that. I gave it a change, and, well, you know the rest. So, keep up the good work )
fifi bonsai chapter 21 . 3/27/2009
Yes, the ending does leave off a bit abruptly. I would have rated it higher in my Anton-like mental list if I didn't feel a little iffy about Adam getting it on with a guy who plays it a little loose on the non-con. I SHOULD be able to get over it, me liking Watchmen and all, but somehow it leaves a weird aftertaste that Joe coerced some kid into sex when he was younger. And we're supposed to be cool about him getting it on with Adam? Should I feel sorry for Joe that now he's all traumatized by his own former sexual aggression? Hmm. Right. I WANT to buy the relationship, but I think I would have needed a couple of more chapters to explain that to me. Boys will be boys is not good enough. Otherwise, though, a really fabulous story.
neeree chapter 20 . 3/23/2009
Hi. Again...I was gonna leave the review for the 21st chapter but apparently I reviewed this the last time I read it...and i can't review the same chapter twice...

Either way...I just wanted to let you know that I actually took the time to re-read the whole thing all over again today...even though I have a million other things that need doing. All because when I was taking a shower today I realized how much the Benny scene from chapter 2(i think) has affected my life. In the past when I took showers I would sing(hum more like)...then after seeing the Grudge commercial where the girl feels something coming out of the back of her head while washing her hair...that was the image that haunted my hair-washing experience...then after reading this, its May and Benny...I now always face away from the shower-head so that there isn't any space behind me where a "May" can appear while I have my eyes closed. And I always use extra hot water becuase warm water reminds me of Benny. So do clingy shower curtains.

I know this sounds kinda...not good...but I think that its a tribute to how amazing your writing skills and ideas are...they stick in my head even during my daily life...and the shower scene and description is so memorable that I can still recall it easily. It freaks me out...but at the same time its great that your writing is so good.

:) That's all.
Rue Street chapter 21 . 3/22/2009
Oh, thats the end? You're right when you say there's a ton of loose ends in this story. That's slightly disappointing, but it was a good run. I really enjoyed this story. Adam is an interesting character, and Joe...I really wanted to find out more about him. Oh well, it was a good run. -FG
Hanka k chapter 21 . 3/22/2009
Wow! I don’t even know where to start. First of all sorry for not reviewing each single chapter, as you’d totally deserve that. But somehow, I found myself unable to click on anything else than next, next, next.

With Intent is one of the best stories I’ve had the pleasure to read over the long years of my (fan)fiction(press) devouring addiction. It’s well written, intelligent, has great characters and a special mix of humour, drama and lovely angst that makes this story tower high over anything else I’ve read in such a long time!

Usually I find myself scrolling and skipping through pages and pages of unoriginal plots and clichés, you had me hooked after the first line and the only time I felt like scrolling was when I simply HAD to know what the fricking hell was going to happen to Adam in the next few seconds

Apart from the surprisingly original and well thought out plot, the thing I love the most about your writing is the subtlety with which you convey new information. It so refreshing to read a story that makes you feel the writer actually thinks you clever enough to figure some things on your own and doesn’t spoil the fun with stating everything in black and white (preferably three times, just so you don’t miss anything, stupid and slow as you are…)

What I admire even more is your ability to put emotions across. You had me practically shaking with tension at the scene when Adam wants to ‘get into another room’. It’s a rare gift to be able to portray characters in such a way to make the readers care for them, and you sure have this gift in you!

I am trying hard to come up with any sort of helpful critique, but the fact is, I can’t find anything to pick at, apart from the fact that I would love to get to read a sequel…

Thanks very much for taking your time to write this wonderful story and sharing it with us, it’s greatly appreciated!

Hanka

(btw, have you thought of publishing? I would so buy this!)
Rue Street chapter 8 . 3/22/2009
No. I change my mind. Adam is a complete and utter mess. He needs to be medicated, or something. Its too ridiculous. How is he still alive? -FG
Rue Street chapter 6 . 3/22/2009
Wow. Intense. Love it. Looks like I'll have to screw going to sleep. -FG
Rue Street chapter 2 . 3/21/2009
Oh. Well, given the situation with Benny and May, if he's forced to see things like that every day he can count all he bloody wants to. Damn, I'd slit my wrists if I had to see stuff like that everyday. The things you could potentially get used to are more like evil thoughts. People thinking they might want to kill their husbands, not seeing pedophiles getting away with shit. Ergh. -FG
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