|Reviews for Spirit Lake|
| HeroR chapter 9 . 5/20/2008
This story kinds of reminds me of Lord of the Rings in the way you have this big world with these characters walking towards a certain good. These last couple of chapters have been kind of slow pace, but I am certain that it will go back up again with them finally arriving at Spirit Lake.
| HeroR chapter 8 . 5/2/2008
I always find the Storyteller part to be the most interesting. I still wonder what exactly that she is doing.
Keep up the good work, things are starting to heat up.
| HeroR chapter 5 . 4/27/2008
Well, thing are really starting to get interesting.
It is very nice so far, but the dialogue does not sound too natural. It could be just me, however, I cannot imagine people talking like this. It does talk place in a different world, so this could be a moot point.
Good job overall and keep it up.
| HeroR chapter 4 . 4/20/2008
Nice story so far. I love you character development and the interaction you have with them. I will definitely need to finish this story:)
| LucienofShadow chapter 15 . 3/8/2008
Oh, you'd better have a sequel to this in the works. The epilogue leaves more questions than it answers, though it's good to know that Reyel and Krish are doing well.
Perhaps you should have put 'The End' at the actual end of the chapter as well... just a consideration.
-Lucien of the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| LucienofShadow chapter 14 . 3/8/2008
"journey sa I have" 'as'
Powerful moment in the lodge. The chapter seemed shot, but then again the last few have. Great job.
-Lucien of the Review Marathon
| LucienofShadow chapter 13 . 3/8/2008
"I look at Krisha" 'looked'
And I saw your authors note in the middle of the story. I imagine you have your reasons for putting it there, but take it out. It's silly.
The scene at the end with Madera and the Shadows was touching.
Why does Reyel still refer to Krisha as 'it?' That just doesn't make sense to me. He's in love with her now, and certainly treated her as female in enough ways that he should be able to recognize that she is, in fact, female.
| LucienofShadow chapter 12 . 3/8/2008
"ache to badly" 'too'
Hmm... I like that mortal blood has the power to nullify things of spirit. It makes sense and gives things a sort of balance. Though regardless of what they do or don't want to know, I want to know what exactly the gem was. Oh and instead of 'non-bloody' I'd recommend 'unbloodied.'
| LucienofShadow chapter 11 . 3/8/2008
How the hell did Shadow die? He didn't get shot. As far as I can tell, nothing untoward happened to him. But there he is, dying, dying, dead. I don't understand.
Otherwise an excellent chapter, particularly the interaction between Krisha and our hero.
| LucienofShadow chapter 10 . 3/8/2008
Eek! One thing from last chapter I missed until I had already submitted my review. "rock shelf the couldn’t fit in the boat" 'the' should be 'they.'
"name at only dirt, sand, and ashes." 'ate only'
The flowers were a nice touch. I'm curious as to why some call her Del. It seems rather familiar, yet how anyone could be familiar with that creature is beyond me.
| LucienofShadow chapter 9 . 3/8/2008
" I didn't’ expect" You tell me what's wrong there.
Also the whole 'aman' thing is really confusing me now. What makes Krisha an aman? Krisha seems like an ordinary girl to me.
On Valshakar being the spirit, that makes a whole lot of sense. I'd kinda sorta thought it might be the case. But it was still a brilliant surprise.
| LucienofShadow chapter 8 . 3/8/2008
Wait a second, who's the good guy here? Curse you for making me question such things. In a good way.
One thing I'm beginning to wonder about is the limits of Summoning. But I suppose that can go unanswered.
| LucienofShadow chapter 7 . 3/8/2008
"and man still live.” You meant 'aman.'
Some parts of this chapter made me laugh out loud.
"I hadn’t tired" 'tried'
| LucienofShadow chapter 6 . 3/8/2008
"Everything was so generous" oughtn't this to be 'Everyone?'
Otherwise I loved the chapter. You let us have some hint of the Healer's intentions before hand which worked out very well. Good work
| LucienofShadow chapter 5 . 3/8/2008
"she turned west- the sun was in the north, she noted" How did she know which way was west then?
"of hr cloak" you meant 'her'
"you Spirit Arrow" 'your'
What happened to you? There are actually grammar and spelling errors in this chapter. I'm shocked and surprised at you.
"she held up the arrow" should be 'the arrow shaft.'
I find the Shadow's affection for her rather strange. I look forward very much to seeing how this continues.