|Reviews for I Saw|
| Isca chapter 1 . 9/20/2008
Wow. I love the imagery, and the idea of seeing someone's true emotions; the ones usually kept behind our 'masked' faces. I also liked the a/n. It really worked in relation to the poem :)
| McQuinn chapter 1 . 5/19/2007
Ah, yes. The eyes are the windows to one's soul, aren't they?
Just a few remarks and questions:
1) The second line's "smile" - one syllable or two? I'm assuming two so it can fit 5-7-5, but I guess it depends on how the readers pronounce the word.
2) The syntax of the last line is awesome. You didn't really need a comma before "it hurt" but you put it there as if to separate it and emphasize it (much like you separated "One" from everything else in your haiku, "Minority of One"). And I love how you didn't somehow manage to put in the word "that" (meaning, "that it hurt"). You just straight out said "it hurt."
3) Why "I Saw" as the title? Is the haiku really about you (or the narrator) seeing this, or is it about the girl/woman shielding and revealing her hurt?
Just a few questions to think about. I really like your style of writing haiku. It is clear that you write only when you have something important or enlightening to say. This is awesome, and I (still) look forward to reading more. :)
| Next Exit chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
you have a great talent for conveying heartbreak. another great haiku.
| a beautiful somewhere chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
Sometimes the simplest things can be the most expressive. You've packed so much into three lines... Color me impressed.
| Basara chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
doing one's best to be strong...
| His Mercy's Waiting chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
Interesting...I like it, it's simple and perfect.
| no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
Wow, what a beautiful haiku. It's quite simple, but the simplicity makes it gorgeous. You didn't need to fluff it up with big words - it just is. Keep writing! :)
| Doxology chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
Well, this is the best haiku I've ever seen. So much feeling in just three lines. Excellent job.
Peace and Love
| sweets555 chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
how could it not? perfect job, this may be one of my all time favourites from you (trust me, thats hard) great job!
| All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 5/13/2007
Look at that, I can relate. /