Reviews for The Best Mission Ever!
Taco-wa chapter 1 . 3/15/2008
"Mae an average girl, with an average life, was the only child in her family. She never got to meet her mom, and the reason was a mystery. Her dad never told her where her mom is or who she is for that matter. Her dad never talked to her about her mom or anything, so she was a lonely girl. She had a normal life or so as she thought...

It was a school day, a regular school day... Mae was walking home... Upon arriving home, she sees the house empty... she sighs, and remarks: "He has gone again... oh well, gotta get to work." This is mostly how her days usually are. She comes home from school, sees the house empty or messed up, and she wonders, "why?"... but no answer is given. There are days when her dad would be home, and days when he would just suddenly disappear and appear again, so she finally got used to it one way or another. So Mae is kind of the independent type of girl who lives on her own as if her dad never existed nor cared...

Presently, Mae is 17-year old high school student. She has performed well in class, passing all her subjects with high grades and honors each year, without any care from her dad... or anyone. Her dad never had time for her at all, too busy with work, he'd say. When she was a kid, she always shows it to her dad with an excited voice saying"

Up to here is where it stopped being good. I almost started crying because a story that could have had description of what happens and such turned into such a short story.

Up to there, the grammar, capitilization, and more stopped, and it just turned to mush. Please, this is constructive critisism (with a bit of a flame), so I suggest at /least/ fixing the errors.