Reviews for Widows Dressed in White
SamanthaNicole chapter 1 . 10/30/2007
Chillingly beautiful.

You have a way with words, it's undeniable. Your imagery is intense and emotive, and I find myself drawn into this quite deeply.

One suggestion, if I may: I totally understand the use of no punctuation here, and it's very powerful the way it is. I just wonder if the impact would change if you added a few periods here and there, to give the reader a sense of when and where an idea stops. Like I said, it's just a suggestion.

This was really lovely. I hope to see more from you!

Cheers,

Sammy
fharfalla chapter 1 . 8/8/2007
yeah. you are right, it deceived me into reading it and saying a review that 'ur prose is truly sophisticated and good'

the continued lines made it more provoking.

-rippedwings*
The Candle Thief chapter 1 . 7/13/2007
The imagery was really haunting. I can see why you liked this one.

-Ramen
Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
Wow this is amazzing like all your poem. Theres a sort of ghostly beauty and sadness in this. i love the imagery. Well done.
NightmaresAndFairytales chapter 1 . 6/12/2007
Simply beautiful. This is a lovely poem. You worked hard on it. I can tell. Keep writing. You have a talent.
MarvellousMarvin chapter 1 . 6/10/2007
that was really good! really do love this style..kind of like a tirade of emotions all spilling out. really good and sad theme
fictitious facades chapter 1 . 6/8/2007
Beatiful. As I was reading the sudden change from an earty happy poem to a teenage angst rant supprised me at first, but I love how it tied in perfectly. I especially love the end.
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 6/6/2007
Wow. This is one of the ones that I wish I'd written. There are too many brilliant lines for me to pick just a few...I definitely think it's one of your best.
Inkling of Tears chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
wow. the way you describe things is so beautiful and intense. i'm envious. "where beauty grows on her shoulders and mixes with copper hair" "butterscotch sun" just a few. again, so intense. i love the way everything runs into everything else. i have no idea what its about at the moment but i'll figure it out. so much love. great job.
cpneb chapter 1 . 5/20/2007
So many concepts and thought and ideas in this poem that I almost feel overwhelmed.

You have a very unique style, but I was finally able to find the rhythm and follow it to the end.

Again, so many ideas, some so deep (dances for the starlight and folds her body origami so the moon will kiss her uncovered skin with its rays) and some just relaxing (her mouth is filled with pretty silent music only she can truly hear).

You are an interesting poetess, Ashelin, and I look forward to reading more of your works.

...cpneb
radioactive stanica chapter 1 . 5/19/2007
As always beautiful, beautiful!

*TSP
hide your eyes chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
This is great. Very emotional. It's all hopeful and then at the end she's just dashed against the rocks. But that's life. It's beautiful, it sort of reminded me of coming of age a little. But not really. I don't know. I'm not much of a reviewer, sorry. But it's definitely a favorite.
Nemonus chapter 1 . 5/18/2007
Good. The imagery is tight and consistent and pretty. I like your expression of the meeting between life and writing. Especially in the beginning it felt like you were tweaking cliche themes just a little and making them your own. Favorite lines:"She speaks in third person like/Someone forgot to tell her she/Isn’t the character of the book" (because its metafictiony), "...Else like a stranger walking/round a tattoo on her forearm/ith swirls and twists words/Forrming to make an “I am not beautiful”/Mural" (has realism truth in it)
Gemma Lovell chapter 1 . 5/17/2007
That was insanely intense. It told a great story, and an awful lot of emotion was conveyed in such a short amount. And I really liked that there was no punctuation, it made your words flow into themselves (don't ask). Great job!

Gemma

PS-Thanks for the review!
DarkBlysse chapter 1 . 5/16/2007
Holy cow! That first stanza came out fightin.' I hope the rest of the poem's that good.

"She dances for the starlight and

Folds her body origami"-Whoa. Just whoa there. 'Body origami'? That's bloody brilliant, Ashelin! I got so many images in my mind from that line.

"Her thin waste"-Should be 'waist' not 'waste.'

"She speaks in third person like

Someone forgot to tell her she

Isn’t the character of the book"-THAT is my favorite part. Woot for that.

Great work!
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