Reviews for Death By Excess
xDancingintheRainx chapter 1 . 9/11/2007
I'm not sure I like this piece all that much. The rhythym is choppy and sometimes that's okay because it helps portray a point you're trying to show in a poem, but for this piece, it really doesn't work very well. I think you could have broken the sentences off at better places so that you would have a better flow and you could pinpoint the ideas you're trying to portray more easily. I also think that you could have used a different variety of language. Use words that paint a picture for the reader. I did really like the first two sentences. They flowed well and had a fast upbeat feel to them and they really started the poem off strong. Nice work. Thanks for the review.