|Reviews for The Deal: ArLin|
| Guest chapter 38 . 1/19
Great story, even with typos and grammar errors.
Very interesting universe and I'm glad to have read it.
Thanks for sharing.
| Guest chapter 24 . 1/19
That was a hot sex scene. Yum.
| Guest chapter 14 . 1/19
There's this weird tense thing you've got going on. Future and past tense thrown together. The use of "would" in this context implies a future action, which you did often, but then you'd follow it up with a past tense sentence.
It's too bad, because this story really does has great potential.
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/19
There is a notable difference in the usage of too and to.
Grammar issues aside, the story is very interesting.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/19
Oh, man, a typo in the very first sentence and two in the first paragraph. I'm going to try to read on, but my patience for grammar/spelling issues runs short.
A beta reader would have made a huge difference.
| Guest chapter 15 . 1/27/2013
''Gelé comme des statues"
| Guest chapter 14 . 1/27/2013
''aucune parole, aucune vue"
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/27/2013
''Qu'une paire de pantalon et une chemise blanche de coton apparaissent sur lui.'' would be more correct. Just saying.
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 36 . 1/2/2012
oh shit! what's going to happen!
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 21 . 1/2/2012
so, sabin and none of the other psychics can detect when someone is getting raped? would that be like someone mentally screaming?
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 18 . 1/2/2012
oh, that's sooo sweet. shayne is soo good at being a flirt.
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 10 . 1/2/2012
god, that sabin's a freak. sheesh, he's heartless. i wonder if we're going to find out why.
| NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 3 . 1/2/2012
whoa. and lin has teeth. but it's not really strong to pick on a (even annoying) little girl. let's see how you develop his character, hm?
| MidnightStaar chapter 38 . 2/15/2011
I loved it, thats all i have to say :)
| bs49184 chapter 39 . 9/30/2010
please do a sequel
i love this story :]