Reviews for The Deal: ArLin
Guest chapter 38 . 1/19/2016
Great story, even with typos and grammar errors.

Very interesting universe and I'm glad to have read it.

Thanks for sharing.
Guest chapter 24 . 1/19/2016
That was a hot sex scene. Yum.
Guest chapter 14 . 1/19/2016
There's this weird tense thing you've got going on. Future and past tense thrown together. The use of "would" in this context implies a future action, which you did often, but then you'd follow it up with a past tense sentence.

It's too bad, because this story really does has great potential.
Guest chapter 5 . 1/19/2016
There is a notable difference in the usage of too and to.

Grammar issues aside, the story is very interesting.
Guest chapter 1 . 1/19/2016
Oh, man, a typo in the very first sentence and two in the first paragraph. I'm going to try to read on, but my patience for grammar/spelling issues runs short.

A beta reader would have made a huge difference.
Guest chapter 15 . 1/27/2013
''Gelé comme des statues"
Guest chapter 14 . 1/27/2013
''aucune parole, aucune vue"
Guest chapter 11 . 1/27/2013
''Qu'une paire de pantalon et une chemise blanche de coton apparaissent sur lui.'' would be more correct. Just saying.
NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 36 . 1/2/2012
oh shit! what's going to happen!
NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 21 . 1/2/2012
so, sabin and none of the other psychics can detect when someone is getting raped? would that be like someone mentally screaming?
NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 18 . 1/2/2012
oh, that's sooo sweet. shayne is soo good at being a flirt.
NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 10 . 1/2/2012
god, that sabin's a freak. sheesh, he's heartless. i wonder if we're going to find out why.
NormaJean Beausoleil chapter 3 . 1/2/2012
whoa. and lin has teeth. but it's not really strong to pick on a (even annoying) little girl. let's see how you develop his character, hm?
MidnightStaar chapter 38 . 2/15/2011

I loved it, thats all i have to say :)
bs49184 chapter 39 . 9/30/2010
please do a sequel

i love this story :]
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