Reviews for Walk Away
Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 5/26/2007
First off, I don't get the formatting. It doesn't really lend itself to any particular emphasis because it's just done (I think) for aesthetic reasons. I'd recommend getting rid of the italics really.

Also, this reads as very prosaic. Imagery and verbs push a poem, this doesn't have a lot of either. It feels like an empty statement as opposed to anything else. The repetition of "so damn" doesn't really help this either. Spice up your language, show the reader what you mean as opposed to directly telling them.

Your punctuation is a touch off as well, there should be a couple periods in there. As it is, there's not the best flow without them.

Hopefully this was helpful.