|Reviews for Demonic Wars: Lily's Search|
| Zeno21 chapter 1 . 8/16/2008
I really like this series. Looking forward to reading the next installment.
| Bluemauve chapter 13 . 11/30/2007
Oh, emotional exposition! Hooray! Some good depth on Artmis-is it Artemis or Artmis, by the way? Anyway, I'm happy to see this and I really hope you can put up more soon. Lovely lovely.
| Bluemauve chapter 12 . 11/30/2007
DUN DUN DUN! A nice long chapter, with a new character and some good mystery to catch the reader's interest. Exciting! Fun!
| Bluemauve chapter 11 . 11/30/2007
Oh, goodness! Poor Dane! I like how you've portrayed the dynamic between the four brothers. Poor Dane. Lovely work.
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 13 . 10/9/2007
This chapter was fucking amazing OMG OMG OMFG!
Adrien is the second best character in the book now! ;)
NIce dialoge, and great discription as usual.
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 12 . 10/5/2007
Delectable chapter, and The longest yet WO!
I believe the fighting was wrote exallently...as always:D
I enjoyed the dialog there was quite a bit, and the new girl, she fucking rocks big TIME!
LIKE IS THE BEST THOUGH! :D!
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 11 . 9/29/2007
Derrick, your rock!
End of discustion.
The language was amazing you never once broke their ire talking, I love it,
I swear to god I thought I was reading a published book, hopfully soon:)!
It was full of charm and wisdom, very expertese if I do say so my self... and I do!
Congrats on the chapter.:):):):)
| Bluemauve chapter 10 . 9/26/2007
How sad... Wonderful chapter, short as it was. Gave some fantastic dimension to Artemis. How sad, wow. Wonderful (sad) work.
| Bluemauve chapter 9 . 9/26/2007
Nice. Your plot is taking on extra depth, which is lovely. You talk about voice inflections a lot here, which I'm guilty of too. It's a useful descriptive tool, just avoid overdoing it. I overdo it frequently; it makes it seem like my only descriptive tool. Anyway, it's lovely, lovely work. And Abriel is still one of my favorites. Woo Abriel!
| Bluemauve chapter 8 . 9/26/2007
Oh! Oh! Link's back! Oh! Huttah! Umm... ah! The curses in this again mess with the formal sort of air you're aiming for in their language. Vulgarity is generally considered very informal. Nice work, I'm very excited.
| Bluemauve chapter 7 . 9/26/2007
Oh, it's short!Bo. Your language is more consistant here, which is good. Artemis has an originally female name-hee hee! Sorry. Anyway! Interesting plot point; you're getting good at changing your point of view abruptly but not intrusively. I've been noticing split dialogue, which I think is good-you know what a nutsy fan I am of that. Good work again, dearie.
| Bluemauve chapter 6 . 9/26/2007
Man, I have to call myself a fool for not reading for so long. You've put in some conflict between the characters. Your imagery is steadily improving, and the actions you put in between dialogue gives it a sense of realism that wasn't there previously. I do want to point out, though, that you are a tad inconsistant with the language. You switch back and forth between formal and antiguated vocabulary and structure and casual, modern vocabulary and structure, which can screw up the reader's suspense of disbelief. Let me know if you have any questions, of course. Wonderful work.
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 10 . 9/10/2007
You...you... you USED MALICE (BIG BEAR HUG)YAY!
Sorry, I love that word.
I thought you did exallent, on the romance. It was simply divine!
How did he fall in love with her though?
M. This is my favorite villian chappy, yet!
BTW: I love the whole sunlight silver hair part, it was "amazing"!
Hope to read more soon, VERY SOON!
Your pal Mark
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 9 . 9/7/2007
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!
Please Write more! "Cry's Profoundly".
It was... Beautiful...
I am begging you to write more.
| GuiltOverMalice chapter 8 . 8/29/2007
I love this chapter! LINKS BACK!
I can't wait to find out more!
Keep up the intreging and beautiful writing.