|Reviews for clayboys, ska, drunk driving, and swedish fish|
| rust phoenix chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
I love this. You've got so much going on, but it all seems to fit together, especially how the last line ties it up.
| Tytherpol chapter 1 . 11/11/2007
crazy. when i'm in 'bookstores' watching ppl drink coffee etc, i jot down one-liner notes/descriptions.
a lot like this.
but you tied them together with questions. which i think really works.
there were a couple of times in this where my heart didn't stop exactly, but it sort of sank a little because there are a couple of places in this that are just incredible.
ie "blistered feet turn burnt and black
writing pseudo-inspirational quotes on coffee-stirrers
and shoving them in the perfectly manicured green
i sort of didn't like that there were no stanza breaks.
the stage directions were pretty sparkling. they remind me of a technique that the author of 'the brightest ring of angels around heaven' (not very great book at all btw) did. but i really liked that chapter. he wrote it as if on stage, using no puntucation etc.
anyway, it's a very awesome poem.