|Reviews for Shadow In The Dark|
| Toxin89 chapter 9 . 11/2/2007
I liked the writing. Your writing descrition of the rooms and such felt a little off, might have just been me though. Even though I liked it, I felt like it didn't go anywhere at all he left the castle and came back lol. It should have been longer or something.
showed a little bit of surprise at that that time
There otherwise dark wooden floor
-The or Their?
I think your fans deserve another chapter soon. ;)
| KuroKage1717 chapter 9 . 11/2/2007
heh, that was cool. still confused as to what exactly is going on, but it's getting very interesting.
| KuroKage1717 chapter 8 . 10/28/2007
this IS different, and very well-written, too. i like how you start each chapter with the discussion between the main character, and mr. cutting, then proceed to tell the story. can't wait for the next chapter!
| Toxin89 chapter 8 . 9/23/2007
"I wondered about what it what it would mean to put my luck to the test"
I'm sure you can spot the error there. Besides that, there's nothing else I've spotted. Nicely written. Maybe I just didn't like the other story to begin with. Anyway I loved this one! Great cliffhanger by the way. Also don't worry about reviewing mine, you'll get to it when you get to it. I like how the main character is so human, it's easier to relate and get into the story. Congrats, and thanks for the update!
| Toxin89 chapter 7 . 8/5/2007
Nice chapter as always, but a few things didn't sit right with me.
-I followed the old man down, only vaguely aware that the sound I heard some steps in, was the passage I took, closing behind us.-
Are commas really neccesary there? It seems like it should be a part of that sentence rather than seperated by commas. Also...
-It was wood flooring we placed our feet, and as I looked around-
Did you man "It was wood flooring on which we placed our feet" or It was wood flooring we placed our feet on"? The sentnce dosen't seem to flow right.
I also wanna take this chance to apologize. I haven't released a chapter in over a month now, right? Althought it dosen't make sense I felt the need to apologize to you for not putting anything up, but I do expect to have the next one up within this week. You can expect it by Thursday, alright?
Well anyway well done can't wait to read about the clan.
| Toxin89 chapter 6 . 7/16/2007
Well done! I've no constructive criticism this time around, it seems almost perfect. I like how you showed his love of "his home" and also his resourcefulness. Nicely made, keep it going.
| Toxin89 chapter 5 . 7/8/2007
Another good chapter! How do you do it... althought some things didn't sit well with me. the first part where he's talking about the bridge and he say's "then again, the bridge is twenty miles long, but it snakes." After hearing the prior sentence where the other guy says the bridge is twenty miles it seems like a awkward repetition. And the part where he gets hit, I think you should have emphasized it more. With something like "I gritted my teeth as my head cocked to the side suddenly, wishing to Christ that I would learn to shut myself up sometimes" Although you kinda break a rule by using my twice and close together, I think a change along those lines would make it better. Anyway I still like this chapter overall, bring the next one quick!
| Toxin89 chapter 4 . 6/25/2007
Yo, nice chapter. I like the descrtion you use in each chapter, giving enough info for the reader to image the scene but not too much so certain things can be made up by the reader.
I hope you fininsh this soon. Good Luck.
| It Was Written chapter 3 . 6/20/2007
Man your story is really interesting. I like how you made it so that it wa nothing like the stuff you see on tv. Could you review my story and give me some feed back on how i can make it better
| Toxin89 chapter 3 . 6/19/2007
Wow, I really like this. I like they way that with each chapter you reveal more information while still maintaining a mysterious air about things. This is definetely one of my favorites.
| Toxin89 chapter 2 . 6/18/2007
This s really interesting I'm liking where it's going keep it up