Reviews for Lost Portrait
xDancingintheRainx chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
i'd like to see the ways the lines are organized more structured, divided my phrases if that makes sense. sometimes when they just jump to the next line you lose the reader and distract the attention to focusing on the rhythm of the poem.

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I'd have to disagree. I love the way the poem jumps into the next line without really breaking off the one before. It gives more meaning to the poem and it makes the reader have to really think about what the writer is portraying. It flows so beautifully and when the lines are kind of connected it makes the poem deeper than it would be if they were all broken off. I think it makes the reader more able to feel what the writer is feeling and I think that's really important when it comes to poetry or any type of writing. Beautiful piece, Ashelin.
All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
Writer's block? Aw. This was great! I love the last two lines. Brilliant.

Rowan.
SirScott chapter 1 . 5/31/2007
Pretty good poem only my mind kept returning to the line My hair is dirty and brown

Laced with sticky wetness a

Mess where images form from

Folded strands and shadows

I kept saying to myself I hope she washes her hair.

SirScott
Guest chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
I find it odd that you say this was lost to writer's block... Not that I'm any kind of expert, but in my opinion, this is beautiful, as are your other works. Amazing job as always. I especially love the second to last stanza, the one before the last two lines. It's breathtaking.
In State Of Agony chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
"a Jaw border where my face must be And my collar but a fantasy"

great, i like a lot how u put ur feelings into ur work...i mean...i really like ur work...this piece is good...keep it writing.

This world is ((In State Of Agony))
i am kelsey chapter 1 . 5/29/2007
overall good poem.

i'd like to see the ways the lines are organized more structured, divided my phrases if that makes sense. sometimes when they just jump to the next line you lose the reader and distract the attention to focusing on the rhythm of the poem.