Reviews for moon scream
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
I love it.

"my voice is a ong-dead star gone to rest in the grave of skies" is simply stunning, as were all of your other lines.

I don't really like the "meanwhile" in the last line, but obviously it's your choice. You definitely have talent, never stop writing.

I would love opinions and feedback from a writer like you on my work, it would really mean a lot.
theinfinitebee chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
"Not that me reviewing is a 1-time only deal, but multiple reviews in a night is. YOU don't even do that."

You just had to say that, didn't you? I'm proving you wrong.

Well, you know that I've liked this one for a while, even though you don't, so I'm reviewing this not just to spite you, and because I've owed you for quite a while. :)

I love the way you start with "and", like something came before it that we should already know about, and if we don't, we should look harder.

"(rouse the world!)" is so powerful. "deaf race" so sadly true.

I like the second stanza best...everything, absolutely everything, about it. "after only fifteen years, i am too world-weary to even cry" I've often felt the same. exact. way.

I think the last line of this poem is what draws me to it the most. It's just so perfect, fitting in with everything else.

Magnificent, absolutely magnificent.
Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
Good poem.

Twilight Starr
continuous brevity chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
beautiful. really, that's the only word to desribe this. i loved your word choice and all the comparisons you used. the last two lines were amazing, my favorite ones, i think. nice job on this!
Lost in A World of Pain chapter 1 . 6/8/2007
I must be honest that I find this poem to be a true reflexion on the world today. Your metaphorical representation is incredible and a reader can easily picture the moon crying as it looks down upon the shame that is humanity (well, not all are bad). Our race is truly a deaf one, because people scream as they are murdered, raped and horrendous acts are acted upon them, and narey a soul will help them. What surprised me is your last line, 'after only fifteen years', because, if I understand correctly, you are only fifteen and such things in the world are so clearly apparent to you. Most teenagers are very self absorbed and it's all about impressing the opposite gender or some such trivial matter. But your poem indicates a person of insight and wisdom, something that is normally associated with people far older. A comment I have, regarding "being too world weary to even cry", is that what does it help to cry? Your statement is so very true, because should one try to cry only unseen tears flow and unheard (ignored) cries follow. I really like this poem. I'm adding this one to my favorites. Well written and keep it up. I'm going to relieve you of my tirade of reviews and cease to bother you for the present.

Cheers

Lost in A World of Pain
ShadowedTears chapter 1 . 6/5/2007
Wow! I like the imagery you use in your writing. It paints a perfect picture. Keep writing :)
Zeurpiet chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
Nice poem, and pretty in a very sad sort of way (with the whole world-weariness and such). I'm not sure if I understood this correctly, but this seemed like the speaker couldn't trust anymore (sadly a common thing)and that they were kind of worn out from life. At the same time it seemed hopeful though (does that make sense?). Anyway, good job!
ohgeerachel chapter 1 . 6/1/2007
very nice descriptions and i love how it all blends