|Reviews for the figure|
| brokendreams21 chapter 1 . 5/31/2007
( This poem makes me feel achy. First of all, I love the emotions that you conveyed to the reader and all of the repetition! It called for super-effectiveness.
I liked the whole extended metaphor (if it isn't one, everyone, please forgive me) of a person being in a dark tunnel and not being able to find their way out because of a missing link of some sort.
I like this new writing style, but I have to say, the like of capital I's make me a bit twitchy. *twitches* Only a little bit though, I swear.
Keep up the awesome work! Fantastic job.
| Moon Drops chapter 1 . 5/30/2007
Some basic pointers: don't be afraid to captialize and use punctuation!
Your poem paints a hazy picture. I want to see this tunnel that you're in. How long is it? Does it seem like it'll end shortly, but never does, or is the end but a pinprick of light in the distance? By dark, what type of dark is it? Is it pitch black, or suffocatingly void of all color? Basically, go over the whole poem and describe each thing you mention. You can use the description, and your choice of vocabulary to also clue in the reader how you feel.
This is a good start. Keep working!