Reviews for you and me
valois chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
i absolutely adore this. i very rarely read religious poetry, but i'm so glad that i came across this. i especially like the third line and how it's cut off with his train of thought.

you convey everything that needs to be said perfectly and so vividly. if this were any longer it wouldn't have the same effect.
nello chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
this is rather perfect.
Isca chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
"I know that I am filthy." I like this allusion to Judas' betrayal of Jesus.
not sure yet chapter 1 . 10/16/2007
much more interesting once you know the backstory stuff in the authors note, i like the third line
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 9/3/2007
Im sure youve already given it to her since Im reviewing late.. lol, but I like it... the filthy line is great and I think its ok to change the name of the town.. it still works well
thestonedfox chapter 1 . 9/1/2007
My religion tells me to be insulted. Everything else tells me that this is beautiful. Law of averages, you win.

I loved this.
queenvixta chapter 1 . 8/27/2007
Wow...I actually have no idea what to say, which is quite unbelievable if you know me. I really liked this, a lot. The last two lines just contain so much beauty, I just can't explain how or why.

Beautiful, poignant and genius as always.

synapse collapse chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
Oh oh oh how could I have missed this? This is absolutely gorgeous, and the idea is so interesting. I've never read anything like this before, and I really really like this. The repetition fits in nicely, exposes what she's really thinking before you cover it up again. Guh I love you and your writing.
Holly Rose E chapter 1 . 8/15/2007
... those first three lines make me physically ache. the repetition of "filthy" cries out more desperately every time it is said, and then the abrupt stop... like a sudden realization, like they've been slapped in the face and they know they have to admit why - just fucking WHY - they feel like it...

painful. so much pain in this work and i love it. absolutely adore it.

you're gorgie.
this is britt chapter 1 . 7/11/2007
interesting idea! the way you wrote out the third line- I think- added an emotional kick to it. and then the last two I could just hear being in a grizzled whisper. excellent as always.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 6/24/2007
Oh, this is incredible. Religion is such a hard topic to pull off, and you did it brilliantly. It puts this whole new spin on things, and wow, I'm impresed. Really wonderful work here. I especially love that you cut off in the middle of "filthyfilthyfil-" like the narrator (Jesus?) realized he (she?) was just lying to him/herself, and was like, "Yeah, I'm gonna cut the crap." Really great. Love it. Keep writing! :)
multiples of six chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
Haha, the part in the Bible about Judas kissing Jesus always seems to have homoerotic undertones.. at least for me. D

Until I read the note I thought this was about Joseph and someone, because it's in Bethlehem.. but Jesus/Judas is more interesting!

I like it. )
kaylajac chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
bible slash?

that's the part where my jaw hits the floor and breaks and i am in love with YOU, girlie.
AchtungBabyAchtung chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
i love it. Not really into religious poetry much, because it tends to be a bit self righteous and pompous, but i really like this, XD

iz x
Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 6/21/2007
This is short and sweet, it has a kind of modern narration to it in the beginning, through to the filthy part. Then the ending becomes softer and more biblical. Sweeter almost. I enjoyed the idea to. Keep up the good work.

Much love,

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