Reviews for League of Nations: Born to Lead |
---|
![]() ![]() ![]() Looks like you haven't lost your talent at writing and interesting story. I'll be back later to check your progress |
![]() ![]() ![]() Whoa so much sudden drama! Where did it come from? It's good, but just up and happens. You should think it through, really, and make sure these things connect. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yay! He's going! Can't wait for your chapter on Britanny. I like her, for some reason. It's moving a little fast, so you might want to slow it down and add description and detail. There are grammar mistakes, often, but it's a good plot, and I hope you update soon! Oh, I think you should have combined the first two chapters. The whole thing would flow better, that way. |
![]() ![]() ![]() More pieces to fit into the puzzle! It's a nice way of writing, so far. The pieces of each child's life, slowly coming together... This is getting more interesting. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Great start. It leaves you hoping for more, seeing what will become of them. I like Britanny. People like that are usually very annoying, but she's a good character. I think. Only a few sentences. Good way to get the readers knowing about the characters. Who are Cara and Ion supposed to be? |
![]() ![]() ![]() good job. Glad you updated. Safe to say I'm liking this story more and more! ;) And I'm adding you to my favorites...now. P.S. -Keep doing what you're doing! For me, at least. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Goodie. I can't wait to read more. I am going to add you to my favorite authors... SMILES & WINKS |
![]() ![]() ![]() The story has potential...but you just need a little help on some grammar issues. When someon new speaks, you want to start a new paragraph. (Less confusing that way.) And, I'm not sure if it's your intentions in the story, but you might want to giv a bit more detail in each character's life. How about devoting an entire chapter to one character, until they all meet up, (if they meet up, that is.) Other than that, keep it up! I'm rooting for you! - |