|Reviews for Always|
| AluminumMuse chapter 1 . 6/7/2007
Oh, very pretty. Erm... maybe not pretty. exactly, but good. I quite like it. I think a piece like this could use some off topic tangents and specifics, to give the narrator some color and personality. Examples of the lies. Flashback like stuff.
I particularly like the line:
A smile on my lips
A little cliché, but the way you phrase it is nice. I could almost switch it around, candy-coated lips (lipstick to disguise the aging process/some much untrue though sugary sweetness) A smile on each lie (letting yourself get caught up in a world of lies.)
However, I think that the ending is a bit weak. I think you could build on the acting thing.
-Struck by inspiration!-
Acting is my destiny
I watch the lights rise
Something like, with some more stage references. Shut it, I don't pretend to be a poet, but I can certainly be a critic with some suggestions.
| whispered something profound chapter 1 . 6/7/2007
lots of beautiful imagery in this one
| silently watching chapter 1 . 6/7/2007
wonderful! i share ur feelings completely (assuming that this is written from life) i hope u learn 2 overcome ur probs (i hope i do 2!)
power 2 both of us