|Reviews for Three Strikes, You're Out!|
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 4 . 3/5/2012
It's nice seeing Nicky treated right by a man after all the crap Alex does to her and puts her through. I'm wondering what happened to Tom in the present... maybe Alex has something to do with that. Hmm... but yeah, it was so cute to see them dancing together! I'm just glad Nicky didn't end up falling or losing her balance or something, haha.
Grrr, Veronica sounds like such a bitch. And from the looks of things, her and Alex don't really get along very well either - I guess that's why their relationship is mostly physical. I can't blame him for not wanting to be around that woman other than to have sex, haha. And the way she was calling Nicky fat and ugly made me really angry - I think she's just jealous that no guy paid 1,500 to have a date with her.
David is so funny! I had completely forgotten he was gay if you mentioned it before now. xD Doesn't that suck when all the nice guys are gay? I also had a couple friends that I knew for a few months before I found out they were gay. I didn't have crushes on them, though. Nicky's reaction when she found out David was gay was kinda funny - probably something I'd think to myself if I had a crush on a guy and found out he was into other guys. xD
Now I'm really itching to find out how Nicky ended up with Alex instead of Tom. I know you said you have some writer's block, so I hope you're able to overcome that soon and update in the near future. I know how much of a struggle it can be. -
Oh, and I didn't think these chapters are too long. Honestly, a chapter should be however long as you need it to be. There's no perfect size, so don't stress over it. :)
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 3 . 3/5/2012
Haha, poor Nicky, I feel so bad for her being all nervous trying to plan this wedding. I've never been through a wedding before, personally, so I can only imagine how it might wreck a person's nerves. But at least she has Alex's mother helping her, right? And Alex's mom sounds like she's totally looking forward to it. I liked that little line about how his mother would make this the wedding of the decade if she had her way - I think that shows how enthusiastic she is about all this. And then we get a little more information about Alex's side of the story, how it sounds lick he's got this thing going on with a married woman named Veronica. Hmmm, this kinda paints him as more an antagonist in my eyes! But I'm glad we get this information, because it helps explain why exactly he's so interested in marrying Nicky when he claims to not like her. Now I'm wondering what is forcing her to keep her end of the bargain, but I'm guessing this whole ordeal where she's up for auction might explain that... so I'm going to keep reading before making anymore assumptions. xD
["I think we need another bottle of this!" Nic answered desperately pointing towards the wine.]
Haha, this made me laugh. ;)
['How about a real loving husband you conniving bastard?']
Aww, looks like Nicky really does want a husband to love. I feel bad for her now - here she is, face to face with her soon-to-be-husband's mom and she has to act excited her sake when in reality Alex is just an ass. Hopefully something will happen between the two of them to help them get along...
Haha, loved that ending scene where they're bidding on her and how she was about to have a panic attack. And then she falls on her face after getting down from the stage - poor girl. That had to be damn embarrassing. xD
| The Phoenix Girl chapter 4 . 2/25/2012
Again I loved what I read and about your question I'd love to see some pictures especially pics of Nic and Alex (and if possible Tom and David)...not Veronica though! I hate her.
About the chapters' length I think you should do what works for you better.
Keep up the great work :)
| serahei chapter 4 . 2/13/2012
Interesting. I don't get why both main female characters in the story look like bitches in heat. In Veronica's case it is understandable, it suits her role in the story, but I don't like how you potrayed Nicky as a bubbly horny girl in heat even though she is a doctor. I think you should tone down how she's always having sexual thoughts of Alex. It's disturbing.
| The Phoenix Girl chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
Great story :)
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 2 . 9/23/2011
[The Adams Family needs competition… but at least they're entertaining…]
Haha, this line made me laugh. I like how Alex's mom is really nice to her, and it seems like she's starting to notice there's something off between them. It's always refreshing to see a kind mother-in-law, considering the natural cliche of how they're all mean and bitter. It's a nice break from what I normally see, and it's very refreshing, so good job with that!
It's always funny to see Alex get jealous when Nicky shows affection to other people - especially males. I find it interesting considering how much he claims to dislike her, but I guess it's more a territorial thing, so I can completely see it being realistic.
Uh oh. Looks like Alex's mom wants to get the planning underway, haha. I think it's funny how Nicky starts to get sick, and then Alex thinks of this as a Greek tragedy. That'll definitely be an interesting wedding to witness.
Really liked the bidding scene. I thought this was the part where Alex was going to bid on her but I was presently surprised to see that wasn't the case. Now I'm curious to see how this Tom guy is.
| Victoria Best chapter 4 . 9/10/2011
Hey! So I finished reading this story and I LOVE IT! :D I find this such a touching story. I can't wait for more!
I love the way you write. You really capture your readers and hook them in, and this story is so intriguing that the moment I start reading this I can't stop!
One thing for improvement I would say is about the amount of dialogue in this story. Dialogue is brilliant, especially in a story like this, but I personally find that reading loads of it can get a little frustrating. Obviously most of the dialogue in this story is important and necessary, but I would consider perhaps taking out some of the phatic language like all the 'hellos' and 'goodbyes.' You don't need to include the whole conversation from start to finish. Other than that, everything else in this story is fantastic, and I couldn't find any grammatical errors! :D
Grrr... I really don't like Veronica. She just seems a bit too spoiled and arrogant. That aside, I love all the other characters, and I really feel for them. You've done a great job of describing them and especially of giving detail to their personalities. I can see exactly how the characters act and why they do what they do, which is brilliant! I especially like Alex. He seems a little two-faced, especially because of how he can't seem to decide between Veronica or Nicky, but I still like him, and I love the way you've described him!
I love this story and I can't wait to read more! Update soon! :D
| Dr. Self Destruct chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
Nicky is pretty funny, I have to admit. I like how she's a little quirky and how she talks to herself so much. Her comment about being crazy because she talks to herself was funny - it's not talking to yourself you gotta worry about, it's when you start to talk back. ;) But yeah, poor Nicky having to worry so much about finding Mr Right... and then getting paired up with the man she was infatuated with and ending up hating him. I can't wait to see why they hate each other so much.
Also, I like how you included those little sections from the past. It's an interesting time-line to follow, and it feels like it's going to eventually meet up in the middle. I think you do a good job with foreshadowing different things, like the whole deal with the party and the auction. I'm assuming that's where her and Alex hook up... and I'm curious how this led to marriage.
Aww, Steve is a sweetheart. At least one of the guys treat her well, right? haha. And it's nice to see she has a friend like Sam, because best friends are sometimes more important than lovers (in my opinion). Oh, and the little parts where Nicky is fantasizing putting whipped cream on Alex were priceless. xD
| Victoria Best chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
I've just finished reading this chapter and so far I LOVE THIS STORY! :D It's one of the best I've come across on fiction press! It's really intriguing, and every word made me want to read more! In addition, the dialogue is believable and realistic, which I know can be hard for some writers, and I enjoyed all the conversations in this chapter. You've got some interesting characters and the plot so far seems brilliant!
I was a little confused at the very beginning, and to me it seemed like there were loads of characters and I didn't know anything about them, for example their looks or who exactly they were, and I was a little confused about what was happening. Before I got used to the style of this, it felt like I was just reading lots of dialogue and nothing made much sense. However, as I continued reading I really enjoyed this! I understand everything now, but I think perhaps the beginning needs to be a little clearer. All it needs is just a few descriptions of characters, which could be blended into the writing, for example "she widened her smouldering chestnut eyes in shock..." or a brief explanation as to who is speaking, for example you could just mention a little comment about them, along the lines of "Mary, Alex's mother..."
However, the actual writing in this is brilliant! I couldn't find any grammatical errors, or problems with sentences or sentence structure. I love the way you write. It's so smooth and realistic, and everything flows so well and it's almost like I can actually hear the characters talking. I can see you've put a lot of work and effort into this! You're an amazing writer! :D
"he felt his blood climbing up his forehead while he blew the horn of his car frantically."
I think it's better to say "while he frantically blew his car horn."
"It's expected that he would change his women like his shirts!"
I LOVE THIS SENTENCE! That made me smile :)
So Nicky's done something and now she keeps lying to cover it up. I can't wait to see what happened! You've definitely got another reader. I also want to find out more about the bid. This story is so interesting and addictive! I can't wait to read more! :D
| Jude Blake Gabriel chapter 4 . 8/13/2011
Things are starting to unravel. Still some questions but i know i have to wait a few chapters to get the answers. Update soon!
| Jude Blake Gabriel chapter 3 . 7/16/2011
Already not liking Ronnie. She seems too spoilt for words. Waiting for another update.
| Jude Blake Gabriel chapter 2 . 7/16/2011
Me again. I really though Alex was going to bid on her :(
Nicki complained about missing Sam and hurting about lying to her so maybe, i know this is the second chapter and i haven't read the other one yet, but maybe you should elaborate on her since she is that important to our friend Nicki.
As for the doctors I hope this is not the last we see of them, since they are hot :)
| Jude Blake Gabriel chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
Happy that Fiction Press is working for u again. Give me something to read.
Firstly, I don't know what's going on but I am dying to find out!
I got the impression that Alex was the good guy (but i guess Nicki brought out the bad in him) and Steve was the bad guy.
Great work so far, gonna read the next chapter :)
| novea21 chapter 5 . 10/18/2008
PLEASE PLEASE KEEP CONTINUING! THIS IS ADORABLE! AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE CHEMISTRY PART!
| Carmel March chapter 5 . 7/21/2007
Lovely, lovely chapter. I loved the flow of the dialogue and various character interactions. I can't wait to see what happens next :)