I love this. I love how it seems to begin and end in two completely moods. Very descriptive, I can see it almost perfectly in my head. (:

aw, this was awesome and depressing.

haha

but really i like it .

it reminds me of bellas point of view in new moon

:]

I like this! Rhyming's hard (I don't just mean thinking of words that rhyme, though that, too). But I mean to do it so that it doesn't come across too cheesy or anything. I think this works, because at first it has a sort of sing-songy feel, then by the end I just forgot that it was rhyming at all.

this was so tragically beautiful. I love the overflowing emotions that carried through the entire poem. great job.

Very nicely done. I like how you really stayed within the emotion of the entire poem. I could really relate to the feeling you brought out in this poem. The imagery is beautiful. Keep writing!