"I thought it loved him." Should that be "I"?

Other than that good job. You didn't make many mistakes. The dialogue is totally believable and very realistic. Did you write the song, or is it someone else's? Either way, you make it fit well with the story. The only thing I can say is maybe not to put the "oh"s in there; it makes it a bit... weird.

You did well! Cute piece. I like it. If you can spare a review for one of my works, that would be great, but if not never mind ;)