hey really nice so far but one mistake

"“Pay attention,” my mom says quickly because I nearly trip over a small mound of sand. My shades get knocked crooked, so I nervously push them up onto the bridge of my nose so that nobody can see me eye. We leave the sodas with Tuck and Louise before I go sit down on my tacky old beach towel."

this paragraph is about halfway through this chapter. and shouldnt it say "bridge of my nose so that nobody can see MY eye"?

:) really great storyline i like the personality of the different characters

hahaha, somehow, I dont get the impression that Lillian's much of a 'good girl' at all.. XD

This was.. something different. I liked it (you can't believe how many hours I spent staying up at school days reading the chapters one by one).

Some parts were kind of left hanging, like the fire at Pierre's, but whatever. :)

i just started reading this story, and i like it.

i like the characters and the plot, but i find your story difficult to read. I'm not sure why, it just is.

but overall, i like the story so far!

This was so good xD I liked it. Yup.

Hey, I got as far as I could through your story. I've nothing to say against your plot/storyline/idea altogether, because it's really good. However, you repeat words too much in the same sentences and it's just hard to read in general. Overall, I give first half of your first chapter an 8/10! Keep up the good work!

One of the best stories I've read in a long while )

oh my god my dick just snapped in half!

you have just made my day.

I don't usually like to review, so this is a bit different for me. . . Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the amazing read. My original goal was to find a decent story to hopefully enjoy. I certainly didn't expect to come across a near masterpiece. Let's just say that I totally spent my weekend reading every chapter. . .

But really, this was no doubt better than 70% of all published pieces I've read, so congrats. You rock. Your story rocks. And your writing is absolutely superb. You have great characters and great flow. Keep up the absolutely spectacular work.

That was really good. Hilarious, too! I loved it :)

This is so freaking awesome. You rock. Love the ending. P

funny funny funny! not sure if u have read this other story but ur story reminds me of it, how its written and such. Its called Hiring a Holligan by Deena.

Amazing story.

I love the originality.

Very nicely laid out, too!

You'd think that when Chris and Lilly made it to third base, they would want it to be where Lilly's mom couldn't possibly hear or walk in on them!

I think it's funny that Ms. Cybil actually believes the whole criminal boyfriend stuff. xD

Some people are so gullible!

I like how Chris is super protective over Lillian. It's cute :)

And what he says is funny too xD

In a very perverted way, of course... But funny all the same!

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!

~Mo~

BRILLIANT!

that was one of the best stories i've read in a long time! and you know what? i'm glad it's over. cause i like complete stories and it was just so good! and the ending was perfect for their relationship! sure, it might have been abrupt and all for some ppl, but for me, it fit perfectly! loved it!