|Reviews for It Won't Last|
| Gollummullog chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
The primary thing I noticed was that the syllable count could be easily fixed. For example, in the first and second stanzas:
-you can insert a 'that' in-between fast and you in L2
-you can change 'What's' to 'what is' in L2
-you can insert a 'just' before L5
-you can change 'until' to 'till' in L6
-you can insert an 'only' before 'want' in L7
It's just adding a word here and there, and yes, some of them are simplistic, but the flow seemed pretty broken and pushed in places to me.
The repetition works nicely here, and I really like the third-to-last stanza. Nice job, but I think with a few quick changes it can be a lot easier to read and hear in your head.
| Definition chapter 1 . 6/26/2007
I quickly applied the first tune that came to my mind (in this case, Bringing Sexy Back by Justin T. LOL) It went okay. Kinda funny, too.
Back to the poem...
It's a really sweet and lovely poem. The rhyming is great, and overall, I really like this :)
| amanda j a chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
hahahahahaha i happened to look at your song out of nowhere it was there lol anyways i read half of it and was like ok...ok!
| Sir Scott chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
Wow, that really was a good song.
| vaudeville summers chapter 1 . 6/22/2007
I think it sounds fine just the same, tune or no tune xD