I like the premise of this story a lot, but I think it needs to be edited and the characters written in a way that makes them more believable. The whole divorce thing at the beginning, for example, went a little too fast, and Mary-Rose's behaviour, certainly, is not realistic at all for the situation she is in. I'm not trying to be mean (I hope I'm not) because I really do like this story, I just want to help you as a writer.

I really like this story but it would be great if the main character would date a guy from their highschool that wasnt afraid of joe. it would make for some killer jealousy.

Joe is a straight up bastard, sheesh.

UPDATE SOON!

Well, Im surprised about the story and disgust fill in my face, so you do really need to change chapter 7 and finish the rest of the chapter

yeah thats better than the other good job! cant wait for more

I think it's really wrong that this girl is attracted to someone that feels obliged to cut her open with a knife when she comes late.

I don't know about you, but if someone cut me up like that and threatened me all of the time, I would be crying and I'd definately be running in the other direction; not wanting sex with him. The character seems to barely react to the things he does; the guy's an outright jerk and yet she still wants him. I don't know, it's very confusing to me, and I'm just pointing out things to make your writing better.

The idea's very good, and that's probably what has drawn people in, but the problem is with how you're getting it out. I'd maybe suggest revising your ideas first and thinking about it from a realistic and mature point of view.

I'm sorry if this offends you, and by all means keep writing. I was just a bit shocked by what I read.

O I'm soo happy you updated :D

Joe's a pig, but it was still hot lol ;)

update soon plz!

Please keep updating it's getting so good :)

plz plz plz keep writing i really lik this story and want to know wat happens next

creative i like it(:

sorry, but Joe is hott (: he's delicious!

continue the story please!

OMG...WHATS HAPPENING I HAVE BEELIKE WAITING FOR AN UPDATE ARE U EVEN GOING TO FINISH THE STORY OR WAT..

this is interesting and i cant wait to see how it progresses :)

You are one sick fuck making this girl to all these things in ur stupid story I hope u burn in hell

Update soon.

I didn't think the sex scene was too graphic.

Hannah

really interesting scene. I liked it and well I must say a little more detail would help but oh well. And the part of mary- rose getting wet just watching just wow