|Reviews for Intruder|
| Twilight Starr chapter 1 . 7/3/2008
Great piece. The ending made me smile. Nice work. Keep writing!
| Erisah Mae chapter 1 . 7/29/2007
Oh I like this one. A mystery wrapped in an enigma, two nameless characters, affecting one another and understanding to an extent one another without having met before, and both leavng changed.
One wonders what might have happened next, btu with the self satisfied idea that it doesn't truly matter, for this is a self-contained fragment.
Very nice work!
| Need 'n' Know chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
Grammar-wise and everything, I like your words, and your sentence structures. Better than I can ever do.
Well, here's just some examples I saw:
"... Where were his spy’s senses that had saved his life on more occasions then he could count? Why had he not seen her spying on the spy himself, before he had moved from the shadows and gone about his dark business."
It should be "than," right? Because you're comparing two things. And at the end should be a question mark.
But these are very small, so there was really no point in pointing them out...
Now, it's time to find out who these two people are.