|Reviews for the ketamine child|
| I like shakespear chapter 1 . 11/15/2008
| One-Hand Clap chapter 15 . 4/20/2008
Just an error you need to fix up:
' against out lithe '
I think you mean 'against our'.
Apart from that, a very nice poem, for the emotion in it was amazing - I could feel - FEEL! - the longing in it, so well done. I'm guessing the girl in question turned to drugs. With the last line, however, I would suggest instead of the word 'disenchanting' you think of something different, because it just doesn't... sit right... with me. Sorry!
- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon [link in profile]
| One-Hand Clap chapter 14 . 4/20/2008
I didn't understand it at all. Were you high when you wrote it? I'm not trying to be nasty, it just reminds me of something my friend warbled my way when she was high on pot! 'the purple ringed peripheral child'.
I would have to say, there's probably a lot of personal imagery in here, but it made it hard for people who are... you know... NOT you to understand it, and therefore, appreciate it. So I'd try to throw in some phrases that symbolize stuff that us ignorant plebians could understand ;).
However, I loved the imagery of these little kids with binoculaurs held fast against a dinghy, spying. It was really cute!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 13 . 4/20/2008
Another absoloute gem! I love the dislocation in this poem, and the sort of stuttering and stammering effect you gave it. The last two lines - just holy hell, they were amazing!
However, I think 'smoky' is spelt 'smokey'.
| One-Hand Clap chapter 12 . 4/20/2008
This poem was just amazing - and so funny too! The humour in it really brought it to a head! 'not pretty like those tv babies'. Haha!
As well, I loved the imagery - although I did not quite understand 'the whirring cut of helicopter wings'. Was it just because? Just for juxtaposition?
| One-Hand Clap chapter 11 . 4/20/2008
"i pushed to see if i could breathe
Ho-ly Hell. That was amazing. And it's something so relatable, so universal, that I think most girls can relate! Pushing away a lover because we're frightened of becoming dependant only to find - doh! - we're already dependant.
Just several spelling mistakes:
should be 'bosom'
should be 'aphrodite'!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 10 . 4/20/2008
Two lines that were like a punch in the gut - wow.
"of half turned moons and lazy eyes
the pale blue of a blind eye"
"the burning cloud of everything we owned"
Holy crap, I'm so glad I found your poetry! It's so... Amazing! And lovely! The imagery invoked by this poem - the dragonfly in the red-and-yellow Earth desert - well, it stays with me. Also, the way you wove all those different items together and made them seem so casual, as if OF COURSE they should be put together, it was just beautiful.
the burning cloud of everything we owned
I'm going to remember that phrase!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 9 . 4/20/2008
This poem was so hilarious, even if it was slightly morbid. 'tell my mother I was a slut until the end' Haha! It was so twisted and irreverant.
I didn't understand this line, maybe it's a local slang thing or something, but seeing 'under' twice in one line annoyed me (for some strange reason!):
all cement and burning under the down under sun
Was the other 'under' intentional? If so, I don't understand it!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 8 . 4/20/2008
The despair in this poem - it was truly palpable. I loved these lines, for Christ's sakes, they were so amazing!:
for you, i'll be stung by baby mantarays
for you, i'll sing until my voice is hoarse, coarse
for you, bible stories and cake every night and bird calls
It sent chills up by spine. I'm not even joking. CHILLS!
And the last line, so simplistic, yet you could feel all the sadness that clung to it. It said so much by saying so little. Well done!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 7 . 4/20/2008
The imagery... I loved it! It really enhanced the poem beyond all measure. And the message, as well: that every boy has an apple lodged in his throat, forbidden, therefore every boy is a reminder of sin! It's truly superb! Well done, I have so much respect for you...
One spelling mistake, though: ' embarress' shouldn't that be embarass?
| One-Hand Clap chapter 6 . 4/20/2008
The repition in this poetry collection just keeps on proving me wrong - I oncce recall saying that repition in poems if for those too dull to think of how to keep their poem going. But here, it just haunts me. It's so surrealistic and scary! And the breathiness, I can truly feel it in every line!
And the imagery, as well! How scary and terrifying and gothic but lovely! You truly have talent! I'm favouriting!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 5 . 4/20/2008
This poem itself is haunting! And so creepy! I hate how you speak of following her, never letting her forget herself. And when I hate, I actually mean love! I loved it!
However, there's one little spelling error: 'accsesory'
| One-Hand Clap chapter 4 . 4/20/2008
I loved the imagery - escpecially that evoked by the 'smiling with milk teeth' line! Holy crap! It was spectacular.
I also liked the breathiness of this narrative. Amazing!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 3 . 4/20/2008
What I didn't understand about this poem was why hunch was italicized. I'm a stickler for minimalistic font-facing, so it sort of annoyed me.
However, I loved the imagery in this poem - the footprints in sand was truly genius!
| One-Hand Clap chapter 2 . 4/20/2008
I loved this poem... It was really quite a masterpiece, wouldn't you say? It was amazing! The second block really got me - the repition in it was absoloutely spectacular!
However, I found the last line of this poem somewhat bizarre. What does Nostradamus have to do with anything? Did you just throw him in? It confused me, and I couldn't decipher it, which annoyed me somewhat!