Reviews for Pretending
torn pieces chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
"She screams at him why

Why He won’t just let her die

But in the silence all she can do is cry"

- I love this to pieces, the words weren't just put on just for the sake of writing something, but it was deeply thought of. I can feel the emotion of the persona and I liked it very much. And what made me love it more is the fact that I can truly relate. You're a good writer.
Coveredinblood11 chapter 1 . 8/31/2007
Amazing. Usually when I read poems that consistantly rhyme every few words it sounds childish, you'll also notice that some lines are forced just TO rhyme. This poem doesn't sound like any of that. Not only can you consistantly rhyme but the poem itself is deep and sad. Bravo.
Kenna-Kat11 chapter 1 . 8/22/2007
that was amazing! it had so much depth and emotion...and such a sad truth...keep writing!
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 8/14/2007
Sad and beautiful. I love the third to last stanza best. Lovely work as always.
anders8 chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
Third poem of yours I've read. That says a lot for how compelling your writing is, that I'm continuing to read through it at 2 in the morning, off of the computer screen - and I hate to read fiction on the computer. I'd rather read your stuff than an on-paper book right now. Bravo.
TylerB chapter 1 . 7/9/2007
I'm going from bright, vibrant, colorful, "pretend" imagery to harsh black and white reality. So seemlesly going from one extreme to another. Great Job as usual.
KidBomb chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
that's really good and well written. Im not totally sure I could hear this as a song, but it's an awesome poem.
Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 7/7/2007
Brilliant i love the repetition in this and the flick back of reality to the pretend. I can relate to this because i'm always pretending. Kind of written like a song which is intresting, this poem holds a lot of meaning and emotion, well done.
Definition chapter 1 . 7/3/2007
So beautiful yet bitter... I love the chorus. Nice!
All Alone With Her Thoughts chapter 1 . 7/2/2007
Really pretty. :)

Toxic.Industrial.Waste chapter 1 . 7/2/2007
I loved this one. It has such a sad tone to it with a hint of a little girl's dream crushed. The way the stanzas switch moods then finalize at the end with a single one reminds me a bit of some of Poe's work.

The ending was strong and emotional.

Beautiful work.
EmilyAlice10 chapter 1 . 6/30/2007
amazing, as always. This is so powerful, it almost brought me to tears. I love the chorus. The end is good, but it doesn't quite fit with the scheme of the poem and it's a little confusing, but overall this poem is great! keep writing!
Sir Scott chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
That was a sad poem/song. I think it would be hard to pretend things while you were being raped.

K. L. Topaz chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
very powerful

only real typo I noticed was "She’s just can’t pretend" should that be She?
Adaliah Pariah chapter 1 . 6/29/2007
This piece gave me chills the more I read it. Very beautiful. The chorus was just chilling dear.
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