Reviews for Dark Indulgence
Random chapter 6 . 4/23/2011
haha I ignored your warning... and was surprised to say the least but I enjoyed it. A lot of sex but some self betrayal, angst, confusion and a fun thing at the end... it works :D
akaCHEEKS chapter 6 . 4/3/2011
Eh, the plot was good but I wished it ended a little differently. I don't know, he's an incubus and the ending was a little too sappy for me. Nonetheless it's well written, the characters developed, and the plot was creative.
An unloved wing chapter 6 . 1/3/2011
I love, love, love this story. I just re-read this for the thousandth time and still adore it!
Eccthlacine chapter 6 . 11/13/2010
The first thing I noticed was the amount of commas you use: it borders on ridiculous. I myself am a fan of the parenthetical phrase, but more often than not the lining up of multiple phrases/clauses results in an incomplete sentence, not to mention the use of "and" at the beginning of many of your sentences. None of the commas in the phrase, "the freezing water, clinging to his body, and dripping off his face onto the linoleum floor" are necessary. The word "unfortunately", on the other hand, needs to be immediately followed by a comma at the beginning of a sentence. You also employ the use of terms denoting additional statements far too often. The statement, "plaid button up shirt, and blue jeans, with work boots" makes no sense. The first "and" should be taken out and the "with" replaced with "and". Alice's character is also initially presented, and therefore set as, a very juvenile character: more the age of preteen than teen, fourteen at the most. The lack of maturity makes her extensive sexual interactions a little disconcerting, though said interactions are well written. The repeated use of ellipses anywhere other than the end of a sentence is also unnecessary. On a more positive note, I like your literal use of colloquial speech in the characters; it presents a very Mark Twain-esque charm. I also like the contrast of the painting and the mother's taste with the conservative South. The idea that Roushik was an incubus also helped serve to tie the plot together much more cohesively. The writing progressively also improved with the story, although the prejudice light in which the characters view blacks is at odds with Alice being allowed to date one. Interesting story overall. Look forward to reading more from you.
Guest chapter 6 . 10/15/2010
Well, I just finished your story in one setting. I have to say it was amazing. You write very well, good description and it's believable and kind of addicting. I wanted to know what would happen in the end. I also have to congragulate you for making that good of a story out of someone else's idea. I think that would be really hard. Good job! I'm off to read Dream Catcher now.
Dalek17 chapter 4 . 8/14/2010
Oh, dude... he just got her pregnant, didn't he... o.. not good(for her)... )
Dalek17 chapter 2 . 8/14/2010
I love this story! You're such a great writer! I'm hooked... can't get enough... )
Roma chapter 6 . 1/3/2010
loved this! short, sexy and sweet :)
ManicMango chapter 6 . 12/17/2009
Aw! Good story and ending! I just don't like how he wouldn't say he loves her...I mean, Aw, how sad! They're married and she has his children and he STILL doesn't say it. Oh well...
Aradia Cloud chapter 6 . 11/25/2009
I really liked this story. The plot was good and lots of nice juicy lemons!
Dark-Passion67 chapter 4 . 11/14/2009
Omg! Did you impregnate her?

Oh, her dad is going to flip his lid!

Oh, I can't wait to read what happens next:)
soon2Bme chapter 6 . 10/2/2009
Wow...I love this story. Is there any possibility of another story similar to this one? Anyway great job!
MadameLeQueen chapter 6 . 7/26/2009
OMG!~ This story's addicting(:

And the sex scene (whew!) HOT! :D
QuickSilverSand chapter 6 . 7/13/2009
very hot story
Knowledge is Power chapter 6 . 6/23/2009
love it
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