|Reviews for Everlasting|
| Bob Evans chapter 5 . 8/27/2007
Two immediate things.
First, this is the second time you referred to it being unusually warm for March. Is this perhaps a hint to something to come? Hmm, Question Mark!
Second, after everything Mike has been through with Ross, why is it suddenly so unusual for Ross to have fought a Water Monster? Quite frankly, if I were in Mike's position, I'd skip the whole proof-of-fight and skip straight to the "what's the plan?"
| Bob Evans chapter 3 . 8/27/2007
Lol, I loved Mike's comments in this chapter. I also kind've got somewhat of a feel for what happened back when they first went to camp there. I'm just puzzled as to where this Glaregon thing will lead...oh, and as a side note, why or how was the park named after said monster?
| Carmel March chapter 16 . 8/22/2007
Again, a perfect blend of suspense and action. You're brilliant :)
My life is a bit hectic right now with endless hours of homework, so my mind's not exactly here at the moment. However, I was really excited when I saw that you had updated, so I had to make some time to read this :)
Keep it coming!
| Bob Evans chapter 2 . 8/21/2007
Okay, as a quick side-note, your characters repeated themselves way too much in this chapter. It felt like you were trying to get a point across to the reader instead of the characters actually conversing with themselves.
Okay, critic aside, I did think it was funny when poor Ross had to suffer the tickling ('course if it were my girlfriend, I wouldn't mind if she wanted to tickle me...). Although I'm curious why it is exactly that she had to drag Mike behind a rock to beat him up, or how exactly she went about doing it.
But now they're on the trail. Almost makes me want to go back and read Camp Glaregon just to get an idea of what's going on.
| Bob Evans chapter 1 . 8/21/2007
Wow! The opening got me really excited for this story. I love the atmosphere you created, and the setting you placed your characters in. The story opened with a bang!
However, you keep overdoing your discriptions. Try and be a little more casual with the detail (but don't be too lax!). Also, reading your early discriptions about Mike and Alicia proved one of my theories: You're one of the younger writers to Fiction Press, aren't you (12ish through 14?)?
It's not a bad thing, but the way you described their teenageisms sounded more like an observation than a stated fact. Like seeing it from a distance.
Well I think I'm gonna like where you take this, and I plan on trying to catch up before you start your next story. So, keep writing!
P.S. tell me if my guess was correct or way off.
| Carmel March chapter 15 . 8/21/2007
[You know, you are supposed to be the smart one.]-that made me crack up :)
This story is really a subtle tale of growing up, being independent. I like that it has a sort of double-meaning.
Loved it, as usual, and I can't wait for more!
| Carmel March chapter 14 . 8/18/2007
Claudia is finally gone. If I were Mike, I probably would've made the same decision.
The main lab can't exist? That's an interesting idea.
Can't wait for more. And yes, this is super amazing work :)
| SamanthaNicole chapter 1 . 8/16/2007
Ah, the memories of high school come flooding back.
Sounds fun, keep it up! As soon as time permits, I'll finish reading. But for now, lovely job.
| Carmel March chapter 13 . 8/15/2007
And the plot thickens.
All in all, great chapter. I loved that snarky comment from Ross at the end.
Keep up the super amazing work, and update soon!
| Carmel March chapter 12 . 8/10/2007
Well, there you go. You've gone and impressed me once again. This story is getting more and more intriguing, and, not to mention, complex. I can't wait to see what's in store.
And thanks again for reviewing :)
| Carmel March chapter 11 . 8/8/2007
That last line gives me this sense of foreboding.
As usual, fantastic job. I like the way you're developing this story; not too fast, but not too slow. The pacing is just right.
Can't wait to read more :)
Thank you so much for the reviews! Means a lot to me.
| Carmel March chapter 10 . 8/7/2007
Wonderful job on this chapter, as always. You've got a knack for making the characters interact, with both dialogue and actions, naturally and realistically.
Keep up the amazing work, and update soon!
| Carmel March chapter 9 . 8/3/2007
Wow, excellent job on this. Meat that grows on a tree, huh? That is so...neat. Ha!
Can't wait to see what happens next!
| LeFrenchMartini chapter 3 . 8/1/2007
Just as you wrote the Furbie talking without Batteries thing,
By accident I screamed "I KNOW!"
Im so silly :)
& Shayy ;
| LeFrenchMartini chapter 1 . 8/1/2007
Wow, OMG !
I love the way you describes everything.
I especially like the almost/first kiss part.
Im gonna keep reading.
Good so far :)
& Shayy ;