|Reviews for Feeding Fat Animals|
| Rohini chapter 9 . 10/11/2009
probably one of the best plot lines and most well-written stories I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
Thanks for taking my fictionpress virginity with this story :D
| lazinism chapter 9 . 4/7/2009
This is so amazing. I couldn't sleep, so I was like, "hey, I'll just read something off of fictionpress.." and I'm so glad I didn't sleep at all! Read and finished it in one sitting. It's 6am now. haha.
| jaz chapter 9 . 2/19/2009
I laughed and I cried this is such a beautiful story from start to finish.
| Kelli Lynn chapter 9 . 11/26/2008
Okay.. Picking back up where I left off..
When Charlie and Jackie did the whole party crashing bit, I loved it. I thought it was every bit of awesome. It's a shame that it happened so early in the story because it could have been an amazing reconnecting experience that they needed much later. But I understand that it was needed there and without their little romp on the wild side, they wouldn't have been able to recover the way they did later on. And yes, BTW, I definitely did just use the word romp. I think I even added a little accent to it when I said it in my head. And I am totally laughing my ass off as I type this because who the hell says romp now a days? I now see why you love me so much. [insert blank face] As for the man that Jackie met, I liked the twist, but I wasn't a big Jackass fan so I don't think she deserved it. You are far too kind.
I loved the Lindsay interaction. It was probably my favorite part. You describe him perfectly and in my head I picture a scrawny little kid who does the tough act. Like a chihuahua. They think they are so ferocious. It's funny because talking to kids can be very eye opening because they see things in much simpler ways than most of us do and that's kind of how I pictured Charlie and Lindsey working. When Charlie promised Lindsay that she'd bring Jade to meet him, I knew it wasn't going to happen. And then when she died, I thought Lindsay was going to die too. And then they could meet in heaven (too cheesy for you?) but you didn't do that. At first, I thought he was going to be a lose end, which I should have known you wouldn't do that. And I thought it was sweet the way you alluded to him at the end, with her mom on the walk.
I liked when you had Jade and Izzy move in with Charlie and Timothy. For some reason, I think it gave a little more perspective to Charlie. I know she appears to be this big blank wall with very little feelings, almost no compassion, and a who-gives-a-shit attitude, but it was obvious it was a front. Because she really loved having her sisters there. And I think it made her feel more like part of a real family that she had in a long time. And it was maybe one of those secret desires (grasping at straws much Kel?).
At first, I thought Jackie's secret was that she was pregnant. And then after you crushed my hopes of being right through a text message, I thought she was a hooker . Close enough though, right? Jackie wasn't much to me throughout the entire story but it was key to the family because it brought up their so many trust issues. And their trust issues is what ultimately led to their complete fall out.
I think I knew she was going to lose the baby. I'm not sure if it was just a feeling or if it was me expecting it because you are such an angst whore. [raises eyebrows] And as weird as it is, even though I found it sad, you had me so involved with her feelings and ways of thinking, that I didn't get tears until she did. You wrote that so incredibly well and I felt it when she felt it and not a moment sooner. You were pretty fabulous with that.
As soon as Jade took off and Charlie stopped Izzy from following her, I think I knew that she was going to die. And after Charlie had that breakdown in the nursery, I don't think I stopped crying for single second until the entire story was over. Jade was sort of the glue that held Charlie together. And Charlie, whether anybody else realized or not, was definitely the glue that held their family together. And although it was completely tragic, it brought the rest of them back together in ways I didn't think would have been possible in the beginning. And the way Charlie was with Izzy after Jade died- it made me want her to get that baby more than ever. Because it showed that she would be an amazing mother.
And I must say, the way you ended it in exactly the same words as you started it, was perfectly fitting. I have to wonder if you had that planned the entire time or not. Either way, you're pretty damn brilliant and I'm a wee bit jealous (WTF- *is slightly embarrassed that she just used the words 'wee').
The epilogue was entirely happy and so unlike you that I think even that made me proud. I guess we needed some happiness after the eight chapters of depressive angst right? And on this note, I think you should know that I hated the mom the entire time and nothing you could do or say could change my mind. [insert shiftys]
PS- I was going to put the end, but since we're using code, meow was much more fitting. And one last thing, just for your pleasure of knowing, I have a zit on the end of my nose. And it hurts. Fuck me.
Yours truly, your biggest fan..
This is Stan.
Just kidding. It's me.
| Kelli Lynn chapter 8 . 11/26/2008
Okay, we'll start off with a.. holy shit I'm finally reviewing. I know my reviews are made of awesome but I do actually have some good thoughts to say.. some non sarcastic thoughts.. shocking yes? Anyway, I think I should let you know that I wasn't expecting to like this story at all. Which was probably stupid on my part because it's you and I've never NOT liked something you've written. But I just wasn't feeling it at first. I don't know if it was just the mood I was in or something (because it has been quite awhile since I read this the first time), but all I do know is that I was definitely surprised and very taken with it.
At first I was weary on the first person thing, but you write so well that you make it your own. It's so fitting for the story and I can't imagine it working out any other way. People say you are your own worst critic so I thought I should stroke your ego for you. You are so unbelievably talented and if I didn't know that before (which I so did), I definitely do now. Not only did you manage to create this amazing idea for the story but the way you weaved everything together, from the first chapter to the last, was fantastic. I would be truly shocked and disappointed if I never walk into a book store to buy your first novel. Because you've got what it takes: the creativity, the talent, and the drive. Don't give up on it- it'd be a waste of your passion.
Now that I've thoroughly stroked your ego enough (and I do expect the same in return eventually), I think we can move on to specifics. When I started this, I found familiar personality traits in each character. I think in my mind, I felt that you took an aspect of yourself and formed an entire person for your story.
With Jackie, who is by far not my favorite, you wrote that she was shy and a hopeless romantic. And I know you and it's often how you describe yourself (although, I've never once experienced a shy Lewd moment). With Charlie, I think that her peculiar sense of humor mirrors your own (and mine too for that matter). And the way she hated to be called Charlotte reminds me of you. I mean, Nicole or Lou right? I think I've told you this before, but I often thought that you mirrored Charlie after Laura. I definitely think Jade is your favorite though. I think she's the positive things you see in yourself. The writer, the peaceful one, the hippie. You love all that and she was your baby in this story. And with Izzy, I sort of think she's the anti-Lewd. Everything you don't like and aren't.. and don't want to be. And I sort of admire the way you took those things and still managed to write them into a character that ended up on my good side (hahaha- because that's all that matters right? [insert eyebrow smiley]). That's just one thought though. I could be completely off and you could have mirrored your characters off of random people or even pulled them out of your ass. But honestly, this was a complete Lewd story from the beginning to the end. It had your name written all over it. And it was nothing short of amazing.
I kind of sort of love the Charlie/Timothy relationship. But I'll be honest, I think I was always waiting for him to piss me off. He just is TOO perfect. I think I expected them to fall apart at some point. And they didn't. Not the way I thought they would; not completely. (Maybe that's a bit of the hopeless romantic in you, yes?)
I had actually planned on separating the review by each chapter, but fuck that. Maybe you'll get lucky and I'll come back and leave you some amazing after thoughts later. You should know though that I'm breaking this up into two reviews, because it doesn't all fit on one. Stupid shit. Anyway, I'll just touch on the big things for me. Though, I must say, I believe I talked to you on MSN while I was reading this.. and then partly through text (it was the day of the sexy professor right?) so if I forget to mention something.. get over it.
| Bryan Greenberg chapter 9 . 11/25/2008
Checking the first thing off my the list of my very Syphy Christmas. :D
This was so amazing, Syph. All of your characters were so real. They all pissed me off some of the time, but none of them was simply anything. They have depth and real motivation for everything that they do. I should have known this was gonna make me cry; it is you, after all, but i was NOT expecting Charlie to lose the baby at all. And then Kel and Corey told me that it only gets sadder from there, and they were right. Way to make me cry like a big baby. :P
I think one of my favorite parts was after Izzy gave her speech and she mentioned that despite everything, it was so clear that Charlie really did care about their family, about all of it, maybe even more than any of the others. I had a bit of a soft spot for Izzy even though she was pretty annoying half the time. lol.
Fantastic job. :)
| Higher Ground chapter 9 . 9/28/2008
Thank you for writing such an awesome story! I would be so great if you could write a book about. I would totally buy it!
This is weird, but I'm almost crying right now...
BTW, I read your OTH stories on FanFiction first :)
| Faeya chapter 9 . 12/16/2007
Wow. This was truly great.
Character development, where in the world do I start. Charlie was done amazingly, the narrative went along with her perfectly. The plot was great, and I didn't even have any of those annoying "I totally knew that was coming" moments. I did not expect this at all from the title, really, or the description. I figured it'd be an emo kid stabbing a diary, or something. Oh how wrong I was.
I loved Jade also, and didn't actually think you'd kill her off. Oh how sad that was.
Sam & Timmothy were also wonderful, though I wish I could have seen more of Sam.
I am so glad I clicked on your ridiculous title name.
| Ziixxxitria chapter 9 . 11/6/2007
Your story really touched me.
I don't like the main character. She seems like the type of person I would be nice to, but couldn't stand hanging around all the time just because our personalities would clash so much. I like how you were consistent with the characters, and even when they changed it was realistic. "Mom" reminds me a lot of my grandma. That's both good and bad, depending on what you wanted.
I like how your story was riddled with constant problems and was really fast-paced (at least it seemed that way, I read it straight through because I couldn't stop!), but still has a reasonable time line and doesn't seem cluttered. Looking back at the previous chapter and going "Was all that just a couple weeks ago?" seems just like reviewing real life. It all goes by quick except what you're experiencing right at that moment.
Overall I like your narrative style, and how you brought me into what was going on. I felt horrible when she had the miscarriage and the discomfort of having her family parade through and have to think about it, and I was also antsy at Jade's wake. At the same time, though, we can see clearly everyone else's personalities, and even if they're tinged with Charlie's perspective, it's still easy to infer what everyone else is like. Thank you for not switching perspectives!
What was somewhat disappointing, though, is even though Timothy played an important role, I don't feel like I got to 'know' him as well as the other characters, including Sam. Maybe I just think there's more to him than you've shown, though.
I could go paragraph by paragraph on all that I liked, but this is turning out to be really long anyway, so I'll just say that this is now added to my favorites, and I'll probably read it again and recommend it to my friends. :]
Don't be afraid to reply!
| Darkened Starlight chapter 9 . 10/24/2007
Excellent. This story is excellent. The emotion, the plot, the characters, all of it is excellent. Grammatically, there were a couple of mistakes I noticed (I can't remember what they are now...), but other than that there was very little I didn't like about this story.
Charlie is hilarious. She is also very individual. Her character was just...in my opinion, you wrote her perfectly. All of the sisters are well written and individual. However, I think, if I had to pick a character other than Charlie that I liked best, I would have to pick Timothy. He was a NICE person, but he was nice in a way that made sense, that felt realistic. There may have been a few points where it was a bit over the line, and I was thinking, "Oh, for God's sake, just yell at her already," but overall there weren't many of those.
Izzy is also well done. She feels authentic in the baby of the family role, but she is also individual. Jade, well, I liked and didn't like Jade. I didn't like the drugs, but that's a personal opinion. I had a little bit of trouble understanding her in the middle and towards the end of the story. That being said, she was still an excellent character, and I still cared about her. Her death moved the story to a different, higher level.
Jackie I also liked and didn't like at different points in the story. I didn't like her in the beginning (though it seemed like she was supposed to be more antagonistic in the beginning, so me not liking her might have been what you intended), but I grew to like her towards the end, when she straightened herself out and when her motivations were explained.
Your plot was fantastic. It moved well from the conflict at the beginning, to the miscarriage, to Jade's death, and to all the drama that followed. There weren't any places I was skipping through, and there weren't any places I didn't understand what was happening.
So, to conclude my lengthy review, I enjoyed your story very, very much, and I think you did an awesome job with it.
| colours and carousels chapter 9 . 10/23/2007
Wow. That was just.. wow. All the loose ends got tied up, and everything made sense, and it was such a lovely ending _
So.. wow. Well done. You should be seriously proud of this.
| colours and carousels chapter 5 . 10/23/2007
Oh... that's so sad ;_;
| colours and carousels chapter 2 . 10/23/2007
Wow. WHERE did you get that idea from! Jumping onto a wedding reception boat and being thrown into the water by the psychotic mother of the bride? That's just pure genius. I don't think I could have thought of that. I applaud you!
| colours and carousels chapter 1 . 10/23/2007
I like this, it's really good. It got a bit long and seemed to drag on after a while though. Don't get me wrong, it was great to read, but I think you could have split it in half to make another chapter or something. It's always easier to read things in bitesize chunks, although I guess that in actual books most chapters are longer than your average fictionpress chapter. Anyway, good start, so I shall progress to read chapter two. _
| xtotallyatpeacex chapter 9 . 8/5/2007
That was really good. A few grammar issues here and there - noticably it should have been 'sore loser' instead of 'soar loser' - but yeah, on the whole it was really good. Why doesn't it say complete though? :D