Reviews for That Boy on a Bike
lydsyko chapter 1 . 11/20/2011
I'll be honest, this chapter really put me to sleep, the storyline was moving way too fast, didn't provide enough detail, and the things it did provide details on were things you're readers wouldn't really need to know. Like the fact that it was raining for instance. I really don't mean to be harsh and I do realize you wrote this story in 2008 I think it was, but I sort of just had to start skimming about a third of the way through. There were also quite a few grammatical errors from the parts I did read, which can be distracting. I would suggest investing in spellcheck for both your benefit and the readers.
iamnolongerusingthisaccount chapter 3 . 8/6/2008
I liked it, keep writing!
Alexandria Smith chapter 16 . 7/9/2008
Yes, half of me does really wish that Matt and her would have stayed together and everything is dandy, I understand the moral of your story. nice twist there at the end.

The only thing I have to say is I was disappointed. You could have used a little bit more creativity. I mean, they go through all this crap and finally everything is right with them, just for her beautiful best friend to vex Matt into loving her and not Dani. That I find impossible and stupid. I hate that about the ending. It was disappointed. You could have broke them up a better way.

I was also mad that you are carried through the mystery of the dad through this whole thing to be told "life isn't like that." I have a question, do YOU know what happened.

I liked the beginning alot. the end was disappointed, and needs some work still on the writing. edit, edit, edit. get you a beta or something.

but I still love the whole story, nevertheless. funny, "life sucks". that was the moral for me.

well, I say, "this ending sucks"

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 15 . 7/9/2008
Personally, I think this is really weird, does Matt just have a thing for girls out of state?

unsurely on to the next chapter.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 14 . 7/9/2008
I like how she's trying to turn things around, to make things better. And yes, it was short, but well.

I still really hate her Aunt and Uncle. They are so weird, precise and sternly, creepily happy. and just plain annoying.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 13 . 7/9/2008
Very nice, I can feel the story wrapping up.

It's been an interesting road.

Still loving it, though.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 12 . 7/9/2008
This is one of the best chapters, in my opinion.

I really enjoyed the cliche format.

I'm a sucker for these stories.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 11 . 7/7/2008
...

I'm shocked.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 10 . 7/7/2008
Oh man, this is depressing.

I like both of them.

You have me hooked.

On to the next chapter.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 9 . 7/7/2008
Oh man, I like Ben, but I still love Matt better.

Go Matt. Dani has to end up with him.

Would write more, but I'm on to the next chapter. :)

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 8 . 7/7/2008
This is perfectly evil. I sat here, near-tears. While you know Matt was being a jerk, you see all the good in him. You would never think there is so much drama in such a lone town.

Man, this is going excellently. Depressingly excellent.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 7 . 7/7/2008
Once again, the ending was abrupt and weird and didn't seem like it should end.

Mann, this really has got me reeled in. I want to find out everything all at once, it makes me want to keep reading.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 6 . 7/7/2008
I'm liking Ben better, but I'm still going for Matt. This confuses me to no end, but that's ok, it's still really good.

I don't think I have any more new critizisms.

Man, I'm completely hooked. I don't want to stop reading it. You can count on my reviews for the next ten chapters.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 5 . 7/7/2008
The chapter abruptly ended. It was kind of short, but that's okay, it was filled with drama.

Matt is a confusing character. And I really don't her Aunt and Uncle.

Just thought I'd put that out there. :)

Your writing still has me vexed.

-Alexandria Smith
Alexandria Smith chapter 4 . 7/7/2008
Dang it.

There is no way I'll be able to stop reading this, and I have to clean my room. haha.

Yes, you've really captured my attention. True, the writing needs a little tweaking. but this is quite breath-taking. You fall for Matt, you want Dani to have Matt, not Ben. Oh man.

Oh. One thing before I continue rambling how much I love this... what are they wearing? I keep forgetting to mention this. She wears the ugliest clothes in the world. and so does everyone else. Would you wear that?

Anyway, I'm really loving this.

On to the next chapter.

-Alexandria Smith
84 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »