Reviews for Keep Screaming
XsilentXescapeX chapter 1 . 7/31/2007
hah sounds like my life...i like it.
smile for the sunshine chapter 1 . 7/11/2007
I really like this. It's very well written. I understand this too. Wow. Good work.
gnomesbeatfaeries chapter 1 . 7/11/2007
This is the total opposite of the last poem of yours I reviewed, and let me say, I love it! Some people would only call this a little peice of teen angst, but I think this is a little more because it isn't simply about your boyfriend or that time you got high, but is something that everyone, at one time or another, felt and can connect to. I especially like the last 'overload' line with the extract 'I can't's, it really shows your frustration! Keep up the good work,

michelle
Phipette chapter 1 . 7/10/2007
Wow, I felt angry just reading it. It describes so many parent-adolescent relationships perfectly (and I must admit, it describes the relationship that me and my mom had too).

Now, normally my response to the big wall o' text is to try and chop it up into verses. However, it works rather nicely in this context. I really like how, like the yelling and the screaming, the poem keeps going as well.

There is one thing though (but I think this'll just come with practice) : I'm wondering if there's a way to give more of a flow to everything after «YOU DON'T TRUST ME!». I think that would be done with replacing the periods with commas-or simply removing them-and less capitalization of the frist letter of the sentence. In other words : less separation of the sentences to make it sound like someone who's trying to get their point across with audacity rather than giving the words a little more thought.

There's probably other ways to do this. Well, I could also be feeling just plain critical today too, decreasing the relavence of my critiques ;_ Haha, I get that way sometimes.

Long story short : love the poem; sorry about the text wall. Eh bien...
SpeedingCars8 chapter 1 . 7/8/2007
this was amazing, but again, watch the spelling. it's a reader's pet peeve usually lol.

have religious parents?

or just ones that expect you to be perfect?
thesarcasticdreamer chapter 1 . 7/5/2007
Ugh, this sounds just like my parents!

I liked it. The repeating of lines really got your point across, but you didn't say it too often, which is good.

Okay, I applaud you.
Caibel chapter 1 . 7/5/2007
Tragic. Reminds me of typical ordeals between parents and their children and even each other. Real sad. Nice poem, though.
rira-chan chapter 1 . 7/4/2007
very intense. beautiful. ] i really can relate sadly.

~rira-chan

P.s thanks for your reveiw