|Reviews for Summer|
| just a ray of sunshine chapter 1 . 9/2/2007
I really liked this.
There were a few grammar mistakes: cotton candy shouldn't be capitalized, same with vailla, but overall, I really loved the feel of the piece. It did make make me feel like summer, and it kind of reminds me of something weird. I bought this perfume and it smelled like summer to me, like sand and sunscreen, like the beach on a sunny day. I never thought that a smell could trigger the memory of a season, but it did, and so did your poem. It reminds me of days that have gone but are still there, in my mind.
I loved the line: "the taste of sweet funnel cake", because it makes think of the fairs they hold in my county, and how all of the kids gather for the end of summer.
Anyway, my rambling aside, the message is still clear: poetry seems like your thing. :)
| ihrtbks chapter 1 . 7/25/2007
Cute. You've desribed it very well. You talk a lot about smells and sounds and stuff you do, and you could have added the tastes: ice cream, funnel cakes, warm cola, hot dogs... But I think the last sentence kind of doesn't fit because you're "feeling" of summer and then you suddenly talk about how it's all gone. But it does make sense as a conclusion line. But this has a very nice overall effect.