Reviews for Kylie Morrison: Untouchable
jammi chapter 57 . 7/12/2008
"If Eric really meant what he said about ignoring fights and not getting into it with idiots, he ate his words pretty damn fast. He was usually the calm one. I’d expect Wes to chew someone out, but Eric was the calm one. He’s the sensible one who doesn’t think with his balls."

LOL.

And how awkward is it that in a matter of days people keep bringing up Wes' penis. LOL, like, if you're going to muse about that, how about you do it with the chick who's not his best friend.

Wow, Kylie's clumsiness plus her hair equals enemies. Isn't that how those mannish girls got after her as well? Her hair happened to get in their food and instead of hurrying away she got mouthy and bam, attack of the ogre? LOL, at least this time it was Eric and I love how everyone is putting it on her when it's the girl who left her bag just lying around. Idiot.

Wes is so gross, who really needs a shruken head? How does it better his life? LOL, such a random object to want to have around.

You know what I find interesting? That his dad hasn't gotten on his case about getting a job, he seems like the type who's big on responsibility so you'd think now that Wes will be turning seventeen he'd get on him about something like that, unless all the clubs he's joined balances that out for him.

Kirsten, wow, I'd forgotten about her actually, lol, I wonder if her brother is still around or if he's off to uni now as well. note: Kylie made a comment about the package comment but she didn't respond on whether or not he was really that cute. LOL at her putting Wendy's business out there, you'd think she'd at least mention her secret admirer to sort of balance out the fact that she doesn't have a lot to say.

And why would Kirsten send the one picture she has of Wes back to Kylie?
jammi chapter 56 . 7/11/2008
That basketball thing was massively uncomfortable, Kylie puts herself in some of the awkwardest positions ever. She's just to eager to make friends when someone's nice to her that she comes off as a different person. Like with that camp thing where she screamed at the boy.

I wish she'd think before she acts sometimes, not too much because then she'd overthink it and analyze it to death but enough that she doesn't come off looking desperate/weird, lol. She does tend to throw herself into friendships [like with the seniors and how she went on that astrology tip for a bit] but she needs to start trying to get people to be her friends by being herself, even when she realises she's not making the best impression she keeps doing what she does, lol. Slightly frustrating.
jammi chapter 55 . 7/2/2008
Dude, that math teacher, I think I'd set my mom on him. Except then she'd have to tell her mother about the secret admirer and that would probably just be awkward. But yeah, he needs a punch in the throat.

I like the fact that even though she was angry and she tried to get them back she still behaved the way she usually does, even though she's angry and wants to act violently she accepts it and tries not to cry. Except when she attacks the mannish girls, I don't know where her self-preserverance goes then LOL, maybe they're her stress relief. Things in her life are getting to be too much even though she hasn't realised it yet and then BAM! She does something to irritate one of the mannish girls and get her arm broken, lol.

Oh, really liked this:

"“I dunno. I don’t want to be alone with him. Maybe I should just let Mr. Paul keep the flowers, he probably needs the love. Besides, I dunno who the hell they’re from.”"

I don't know why though, I just do.

Hmm,I wonder why Wes is going from 'carefree' lethargic to lethargic-anger? Is he getting more pressure at home? I mean, he is a junior. And Kylie might not have a lot of friends, which is depressing, at least she doesn't have to deal with everyone's expectations the way Wes does. I mean, he's handling really well from the previous chapters but that play thing made me think a bit. Can you imagine trying to get through school but because you're attractive your teacher manages to blackmail you into doing an extracurricular activity you might not have time for? And everyone, his 'friends' included probably expect him to behave one way or do something and he doesn't have time for himself, it's not like he can really relax at home with his crazy dad.

Sometimes I forget he has an abusive homelife and think he's just so stressed because he does so many things at once, sometimes it seems like he can't say no and he always finds a reason for why he said yes [instead of saying he's a people pleaser, case in point, his willingness to go out with any girl as long as she has the guts to ask him] and then he just gets tireder, but it's probably better to be busy doing things and having an excuse to be away from his father.

And I wonder when Kylie will start to see that even though her life can be a bit depressing she has more things going for her then some people, I mean, at least her friends are *real*. Sure Wendy is popular but she gets that ass bust on the regular by her boyfriend and her 'friends' probably wouldn't care about it beyond the scandal it would cause.

Then there is the secret admirer, which means she has something going for her to attract male attention even though she doesn't try to be something she's not, she wears baggy clothes, she doesn't flirt, she's just herself. Well, a more 'confident' version of herself. Of course, if he turns out to be an honest to goodness freak, uber-possesive or stalkerish or something that might not be a good look, LOL, but for now it's sweet. I mean, he's not breaking into her house and watching her sleep. I don't care what anyone says, that shit is not romantic.

AND she has someone she can rely on, Wes. I can't think of one friend I would admit to feeling lonely too without feeling hella self concious.

So here's to hoping once she gets past that self-pity stage she can reach the next part. She has grown though, before she never would've admitted she was unhappy much less cried in front of Wes, this is the same girl who ended her friendship with him because he had sex and she thought he had started a trend. One thing though, is that she does seem to view Wes as if he's perfect, like she knows his flaws but thinks his charisma and looks make up for it.

Damn, I had something else I wanted to say but I rambled on and now I can't remember what it was. Hmm, anyway, while Kylie can be frustrating in her insecurity/inability to make decisions at times I like the fact that it's *realistic*.
CatDog-runs-fast chapter 55 . 7/1/2008
Who is the secret admirer?

And is Wes alergic to strawberries, or does he just not like them?
Evie chapter 54 . 7/1/2008
I luv your story!I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
VeryThickGlasses chapter 54 . 6/28/2008
this is really the perfect book. not too boring, not too exciting, not too informative, and not too hard to follow. continue, its really nice to read.
Missus Finkle chapter 54 . 6/28/2008
Yay ! Love the unknown admirer !

~ Missus Finkle xx
jammi chapter 54 . 6/27/2008
He got her flowers because it's Thursday? What kind of hint is that?

And she got 16 flowers because she turns 16, what's the point in asking for someone else's rose? It won't have any significance for you. Exception to that rule is if your best friend is feeling down on like Valentine's day, then you can be nice and spilt your stash, if you got a bunch of stuff, other than that, nope.

Poor Kylie, everyone has moved on but her, though it's nice that they did acknowledge her birthday even if they don't really hang out anymore. And I wonder who her admirer is, that hint made no sense to me, lol. Could it be that dude she kicked in the crotch that one time in gym? LOL, or is it some other total random?

And yeha, super creepy having grown ass men in your gym class. I had a dude like that at both of my highschools, though one was still taking freshman courses and had the NERVE to act like he was cool because the freshmen girls talked to him. He was 19/20 at the time and it made no sense to me because shouldn't they have put his ass into night school if he was so grown?

Anyway, Wes is so weird, lol, if my nose started to bleed because I was in a random accident I don't know if I could laugh as blood squirted out of my nose, but then again, I'm a chick, certain things gross me out quite abit. And I wonder how his home life is, since he apparently started getting lethargic when he was younger because he realised he was in a sucky home situation.

Sorry for my inability to spell last review, lol, don't know what was going on with me there.
jammi chapter 53 . 6/25/2008
Wendy has no goddamn sense, sense of self preservation or self respect. You'd think she'd stop and ask herself if bruises and broken veins are really worth the price of being 'popular'. I mean, if something that series happens and she has to go to the girl she ditched instead of her 'real' friends she doesn't see what might be wrong with that?

And Kylie is letting it 'bother her spirit' as my grandma would say, lol, even though Wendy hasn't been there for her in the longest time.

Things are just going to get harder for Kylie since as they're getting older everyone's focus is changing except for hers, yeah she likes Wes but she hasn't started thinking of the future yet, she still hasn't made the effort to make other friends and everyone is leaving her behind, even Wes it seems. And that sucks since she's crushing on him even if she refuses to acknowledge it.

Oh, and you are DISGUSTING for that kiss descriptiong, saliva strand? UGH, I almost gagged, that is so nasty, I don't care how fine you are, you have an overabundance of saliva and you can't swallow before it pools up in your mouth your on your own. AND TO KISS PEOPLE? UGH, spit is so gross to me. Spit and cockroaches, and then she kissed Wes with her mouth all spitty and he had to spit and my first thought was 'how much saliva did she have in her mouth?' like, when you kiss someone it should not be like you're swimming, that is NOT CUTE. Yeah, that does deserve a rant of its own.

What was up with the random mannish girl asking how old she was? came out of nowhere, lol.
jammi chapter 52 . 6/23/2008
Kylie is so sensitive/empathetic, I mean, Wendy is a total bitch, part of me would be thinking 'that's what happens when you turn into a slag and hang with lauren' but she just goes straight into friend mode. She doesn't even think about how bitchy she's treated her before this. I bet you after she starts to feel better she treats Kylie like a nobody again.

On the other hand, I do like the fact that you showed the other side of losing your virginity, Wes acted like it was not a big deal but for a girl it would be. And I like how she connected it to Ben.

About the whole gayness factor, to be honest remembering how I was at 15/16 Kylie's pretty on point, it's overwhelming and then your friends are changing a lot and you feel left behind or in this case you feel bad for them when crappy things happen, you'll cry a lot. And Kylie is hella sensitive, she takes what happens with her friends/what her friends do and makes it personal.

Also, love the way you portray Wes when he was telling Kylie not to tell her mom about Ben.

"I glanced up to Wes’s face. I really wanted him to kiss me, but I denied myself the privilege of that very thought."

Not to mention that would be awkward after he just said, again, she reminded him of his sister.

And Bliss should be called Peer Pressure or something, lol, he'd like her if she gave it up? Nice, lol, but hopefully after seeing Wendy's situation she'll listen to the part of herself that thinks Bliss and that other voice is full of shit. There are three voices right? Lol, like there's Bliss, there's the noname one and then there's conscious Kylie.

That scene at the waterpark was amusing, though when he kissed her neck it was so cute but weird because major mixed messages there, lol, and was he trying to justify pretending to be her boyfriend a bit too much? I don't know, but it was cute, lol.

I really like the way you balance the heavy stuff throughout the story so I never feel like things are getting super angsty even when we're dealing with a serious topic. I feel bad for Wes though, lol, because he has no idea what's going on and he doesn't even really like Wendy as a friend anymore.
Missus Finkle chapter 52 . 6/23/2008
Lordy lordy, I don't half love this story, and love the additions and changes you're making to it, it's really making it flow a lot better.

~ Missus Finkle xx
jammi chapter 51 . 6/20/2008
Aww but Wesley is photogenic and from what I can gather while Kylie may be pretty exotic looking and on the better side of cute, lol, she doesn't have the confidence to pull off a photo if she's feeling uncomfortable, and posing for a glamour shoot will most likely be uncomfortable, especially since she doesn't want to do it.

Like the fact that she didn't forget about Ben even though 'nothing' happened.

Really like that glimpse into Wes' life and the gradual change as he began to realise his 'place' in life, that was well done in my opinion, a lot of info was given but it wasn't info-dumpy.
jammi chapter 50 . 6/18/2008
Kylie... I don't know what to make of her. Poor dear is in DENIAL, but with her it makes sense because he thinks of her as his sister. His younger sister that he can't trust while she's getting all hot and bothered because he didn't shave. Though, his sisterly feelings might be her fault because she pushed Wendy onto him, tsk tsk Kylie, TSK, TSK, lol.

When she's not busy worrying about people or her attractiveness to other people she enjoys herself, I wish she could just realise that she's great the way she is, but she's what? 15? Insecurity is the name of the game, and it's not like she has any trustworthy female friends to talk too, but at least she's making friends now while before [ninth grade] she probably would've just sat around and watched because she didn't want to look/feel dumb.

My main thing about the whole him saving her from rape thing, she'd get in trouble and even if her mother was grateful to him she'd probably mention it to his stepmom and then she'd mention it to the dad and then Wes would get in trouble. His dad doesn't seem that rational, but then again maybe he'd be pround of Wes for being there and stopping it, but he might blame Wes for 'putting' her in that situation. I just hope she keeps that to herself because if Wes got beat overit she'd feel horrible.
lalonely chapter 50 . 6/18/2008
i'm reading it.

i thinks its odd and from a weird viewpoint but i'm hooked and i like her so much and i really like wes and i like the naivety..

i think this story will need a revision again to cut out the useless parts... the wendy lauren deal...

idk but i like kyle and she's growing!

good job. you may be growing too
jammi chapter 49 . 6/18/2008
Kylie goes to Christian camp and peer pressure strikes. What sucks though is that it's not even peer pressure so much as she's with people who don't know her [aside from Wes] so I'm guessing she's trying to 'fit' in with them only to keep putting herself into situations where she doesn't come out in the best.

I'm assuming it's Wes who came for her but she's too out of it to distinguish him from Ben? If that's even his real name, lol. I wonder how Wes is going to deal with what almost happened? He seems like th type to feel guilty but he stopped it in time so maybe after yelling at her/talking it over with her he'll be fine.
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