Reviews for Guide to Things a Fantasy Author should Never Do
Mia Homina Telos Writ chapter 2 . 2/19/2016
You are a fountain of knowledge. Thanks! Now I'm gonna stop procrastinating with your advice essays and maybe write a bit.:)
Tanned so much though!
Mia Homina Telos Writ chapter 1 . 2/19/2016
I feel like this is dripping with sarcasm but in a lot of parts the advice is actually valid. Though writing is writing and everyone does it their own individual way. Could you explain this one?
Td03 chapter 1 . 2/10/2015
I agree with all but the part where you say 'Never make a bla bla bla character'. Yes, we're trying to promote realistic stories, but telling people to never make a non-human character- that basically contradicts fantasy. That would be explicit supernatural human, not genuine fantasy. Others, perfectly pessimistic. I'd fell in love with it
Lolitroy chapter 1 . 7/10/2014
Oh, absolutely. Long hair is evil. Number three is especially true... oh wait. A character of mine passed a test! Nu! How he's become SPESHUL!

Anyone who isn't pearly white? Must be them aliens procreating green people again...

Not writing characters without parents? But what if my character was created in a facility? Huh. Guess I'll use AUTHOR POWAH! to fix this.

The amount of people who don't get this is a parody is impressive ._.
Also, I read this because my story has the same amount of reviews! Well, had anyway.
CorycianAngel1944 chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
Actually, there is science in the ancient times, but they considered it a kind of knowledge.
Nysvehj chapter 1 . 4/15/2014
When I was reading the first tips you gave, I was like, oh noooo! That’s all I’m doing in my stories. And then, reading further, I thought, it can’t be, she can’t be serious… Having read some of your other essays, I couldn’t believe you were really thinking what was written there.
And then, I saw chapter 2 and had to laugh at my own stupidity. Can you imagine that? I didn’t even have the simple idea to look up and check the genre… But I saw, in the reviews, that I wasn’t the only one...
So, I must say I had a good time reading this, even if I was a bit troubled at the beginning. So thank you very much!
SomeWeirdPerson chapter 2 . 12/14/2013
Oh. Hahaha. I'm so stupid... I didn't even see the "parody" label. Anyway, very clever! I believe your point has been made.
SomeWeirdPerson chapter 1 . 12/14/2013
I hope this is a parody. If it's not... well...
FlyOn97 chapter 2 . 9/26/2012
Darn. I was hoping you would say something about 14 that was like "I actually like to describe stuff all the time." I know that I'm one writer who infects his stories with description.
What was your essay about exactly? I mean, was it positive or negative?
Anyway, thanks for writing this! I enjoyed looking at it!
FlyOn97 chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
Ha. . .
You made me want to NEVER show you my story. I did at least a few of those things that you mentioned. . .
But you're right. Most of the points you set up are really annoying things that fantasy writers do and things that I (hopefully) avoid when I write. I know I tend to consciously think about not doing most of them.
I think the only one I disagree with you on is 14. I think what you might (don't let me put words in your mouth) mean is the main character should never describe themself or you shouldn't dedicate a paragraph to phrases like. "She had blond hair and blue eyes and was very tall and skinny." There's a time and a place to describe your characters, or else, yes, it will bog down the story. I like imagery and description. I think stories lack something without it.
Anyways, you gave a lot of good advice. I liked this and will take it into account when I write.
Ayana Parker chapter 1 . 5/7/2012
I was just wondering if by any chance you are going through something because you can't eliminate all those ideas. Plus, I know of stories that have those characteristics in them and its good. Its the Author that writes the story not the characters or who the characters are. Just Saying.
Vivace.Assai chapter 1 . 2/24/2012
Wait... I just read this again, and suddenly, I'm cringing at my own ignorance... This was kind of a satire, wasn't it?

Very sad that I didn't notice this (since I tend to notice satire most of the time). Maybe, it was because this time it applied to me, instead of satirizing other people...

Either way, the advice was right to an extent. And maybe that's why I was fooled and didn't see some of the parody in this...

Sorry so much.

Signing off...
Vivace.Assai chapter 2 . 2/24/2012
This was a very interesting essay. Very enlightening. However, I slightly cringed while reading this because I'm guilty of probably all of the "Don'ts" that you listed (except for the prophecy... I don't think I've every done a prophecy before). I probably must reread all my past stories (that haven't been published on the site and that are probably the ones that are guilty of all of these "don'ts") and edit them of these problems... I do agree with a lot of what you say though (to some extent).

Thanks for the interesting essay. I must put this into my reservoir of essays always to read before I write and/or edit.

Signing off...
Oi Spain chapter 2 . 2/5/2012
Some things that would be good:

-Never use sarcasm in the narrator(3rd person) voice. It confuses people.

-Don't make runon sentences, because they are extremely annoying and nobody really wants to read all that way; seriously, who do you think would actually read a sentence that's as big as a normal-sized paragraph, except possibly Emily Bronte, and she's allowed to because a)she's dead and b)she was a classic novel writer person who doesn't have to do that. (Annoyed yet?)

-Don't write excessively awkward scenes (do people know what I'm talking about? I seriously don't want to go into detail...)because that's just... kind of gross and weird.

A.P. Gregory chapter 1 . 9/15/2010
This is satire at its best! Yes, cliches suck and so do mary sues but the extent that people go to avoid them and the lashings people give others who have cliches in their work is a bit much and you illustrated this point perfectly. I understand why you put in the second chapter but I don't think it was neccessary. You should have let all the ignorant people who don't understand the satire wallow in their confusion.

You just made my day!
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