I love it. Wantes to read more

I really enjoyed this! Best of luck with the edits and rewriting to expand it to a full-length novel. I liked it in this shortened version as well, but I think you're right - it does read as more of a novella and would be awesome if further chapters elaborated on her friendship with Sam and relationship with Luke more. I also thought her workplace might be ripe for more as well. Good luck!

Love all the characters, especially Emily and her unique personality, and of course her horrible luck. The plot would of course need a little more fleshing out to become a full length novel, but it's got a solid start. I would love to be able to read more on everyone and everything in this story!

oh my god i kind of freaked out when bob was the creepy stalker! i was like WTF?!

:) that was sweet! omg thecreepy homeless guy was so scary :$ cnat believe i didnt see that coming! (:

Awesome story, Its easy to read and the storyline kept me captivated.

It was a little brief in some parts - like when the officer mistakes Luke for Peter and takes him away and then Peter approaches Emily. That all seemed to happen quit fast.

Overall I enjoyed it. I didn't suspect 'Bob' until just before you revealed it. Love the last chapter - its cute and cleverly worded. ;)

I loved this. I read this all in one sitting in my bed on my phone. It is more of a novella but its cute, fun, and it started light hearted but became a bit of a thriller towards the end but you managed to do it tastefully. All in all, this was quite the refreshing story and the last chapter was quick, easy, lighthearted which was also a nich change. Kudos!

Noooo! The hobo seemed soo nice. D: And Peter, not pete (LOl), seemed like the type of guy that you should always keep smiling with. For sure I thought it was peter and then the hobo came out of no where. D: Luke,,, well... I dont know how they actually got to a relationship... He was so indifferent. I dont know how she fell for him. And just 'cause he's going to Cali with her doesnt mean he loves her. He's been wearing Armani suits. Must mean that he HAS SOME money to get him places. But I liked the dating thing. Very funny.

It's pete isnt it! thats how you described him! :o

Hey,

This is a short but such a sweet and great story..

Keep up the good work

This was a really great story. I totally loved it! It was so unpredictable and thrilling. I was sad for it to be over. Great job!

If it's of any value to you I loved this story.

Extending it to novel-length seems a good idea since although the writing was clear and eloquent, it was a little bald. Some more description - particularly relating to setting - wouldn't go amiss. Furthermore, the intense feelings experienced by Luke were... not rushed, but a little too sudden. Other than that, I really enjoyed this story. The red herring of Peter was excellently executed, the romance was steamy. Definitely worth more than $2.99.

This story has a lot of potential, but you made everything happen way to quickly. There was no build up or suspense and there wasn't really anything to the characters. There wasn't enough information or time to really relate or connect with them. Emily and Luke's relationship happened way to fast, same with the whole stalker part. Personally, I think you should have waited a while, maybe mention of few things like her noticing something missing or feeling like someone was watching her. You need to add a lot more to this story. Give the characters more of a background and stuff. I suggest putting in a couple more chapters in before the big stuff like the stalker, him trashing her place, Luke admitting he is attracted to her, them kissing, them having sex and him telling her he is married(which personally I thought didn't really add anything to the story). Also I think there is to much dialogue in this story, it's not really balanced. These are just suggestions to make this story better and to help it get published, it is your story so it is your choice whether you choose to act upon them or not. Good luck with your future stories :)

What a fun read! :) I really enjoyed it.