|Reviews for Watered Down Wishes|
| dabombticktick chapter 2 . 5/31/2009
I wish I could have read the rest of this story.
I hate it that the stupid people who took stories that weren't theirs ruined it for the rest of us.
GR sucks big time
I loved the prologue though :]
Seriously, seriously wished I coulda read the rest.
:D Thanks for writing this AN
I'm just glad you didn't just stop writing without telling us, the readers.
| EnglishfreakFromHell chapter 2 . 5/22/2009
Aw it sounded really good to read p.q
| PegasusWings chapter 6 . 5/20/2009
don't die on me! i want a update! i love the way the story is going and i want those questions answered on who are they! very 'patiently waiting' -PW-
| bongi chapter 6 . 2/11/2009
I like the feelings of tenderness and love this story is making me feel. I am also curious what are they and where will their problems come from. So, please, update soon.
| Birds and Boats chapter 6 . 6/26/2008
this is really good, i wanna know more -pout- update soon, kay?
| newsboyhat chapter 6 . 3/9/2008
Hello-I have a few general comments and some more detailed comments, and of course as the writer you may choose to address none or all of them:
The dynamic between the brothers is intriguing, and I would read to find out who they are, how they got that way, and whether or not they're just human disguises of a bunch of nautical gods from ancient cultures or just children of sea-obsessed parents, and why they work at all. I would also press on to find out why their parents left them, where they went, etc. The names, at first, threw me off as if you were trying too hard to come up with original sounding ones, but upon hitting the chapter where Posie explains, I understand.
I'm not exactly certain where your story is set (also, clinic / beach?), though your other names: Gia, Jezlyn, and Benji, are so ethnically diverse I wonder if you did that intentionally.
Some notes about the actual writing:
You do not need the prologue. In my opinion, it is expendable-you could insert the important elements elsewhere in the first chapter where it would flow more naturally (since the first part of it is merely heavy description anyhow). Or better yet, just call the Prologue "Chapter 1."
You begin the prologue and first chapter with lyrical description. It's quite clear that you can construct a sentence, but all of it seemed to fade away when the story got dialogue-driven. I would recommend combining a bit of both, so you get both action and description.
I don't really believe your protagonist, Gia. I hope there's a real reason she married her arrogant nitwit of a husband in the first place, but so far I can't detect any except to reap sympathy from the readers. Also, her romance with Posie is equally indifferent-where's the heat, the smiles, the touches, the blind attraction? When I find someone attractive, I notice the smell of his shirt, the contours of his body, the way his lips curl upwards. Their conversations are equally stilted. Here's where you should add some of that description of yours, so it doesn't feel so flat. You have lots of "She smiled", "She shrugged" and "She smirked." Okay, but how?
I think you have some several very good components to this story, but the execution could be much improved. I think your skills are all there, you just need to work on how to combine them.
| virgo-valentina chapter 6 . 2/22/2008
really enjoyed reading this story! cant wait for more!
| Twilight Starr chapter 6 . 2/17/2008
Cute addition. Nice work. Have a fantastic day.
| Hydie chapter 6 . 2/4/2008
I really like this story! Keep up the good writing!
| Unsociably Acceptable chapter 6 . 2/2/2008
an update! yay! ooh! pics!...and i'mma go check out that story, cuz the name sounds REALLY cool ;) update soon peez
| LethargicLove chapter 6 . 2/2/2008
I seriously hope that Eptu finds himself a woman. Seeing Posi and him fighting over Gia would be so sad. Family love triangles are never fun. Although, I kind of want to see some more of Pari, haha. Don't know why though.
| essie chapter 5 . 1/19/2008
yay! found a treasure of a story! love this.
| kate chapter 5 . 1/7/2008
i absolutely love jez's character! :) aside from that am thoroughly enjoying the story so far. gia's past holds a lot of interest to me, i'd love to know more about the marks above her shoulder. what happened to her real parents. etc etc etc
the interaction between her and posie has an interesting dynamic. am waiting to see what eptu thinks about it. and loved pari's name hahahaha :D
| Lady Katreina chapter 5 . 1/3/2008
I like it. So what are they? (Who were her parents in that society?) Is there an evil magic user that's bent on destroying this new-found love?
Thank you for making this story. Definitely interesting.
| SuperCUTEJensen chapter 5 . 12/29/2007
great chapter..I like posie cant wait to see what happens next