|Reviews for Eximius Vir|
| Sarthim chapter 4 . 12/29/2009
Ah...so it was all a dream. Makes sense now. Expecting the events in this story to happen sooner or later. I would think he'd have a group of friends he could count on at school but he seems to be a solo guy so far...
...I'd originally thought he'd freak out more but considering this is a city where superheroes exist, I guess it doesn't come as too much of a shock.
| Sarthim chapter 3 . 12/29/2009
Rather random...but I guess all will be explained later. Something I've been noticing in these chapters is some redundancy with some sentence structure and the setting of description. One example is at the first chapter-when Chase goes out to lunch, he orders a vegetarian sandwhich but then it goes on to say that even though he's not a vegetarian, it's what he orders at lunch time; it's just a little confusing.
The second chapter had an extra sentence about the bowling alley boss's office which did this. It's already implied that Charlie is the boss and the office would belong to him.
This one had a sentence where it said Chase was shoved but then it described the shove in the next paragraph. It would have been smoother to link the sentences together or combine the idea into one.
Again, these are just suggestions and things that I see. Since you are already finished with this, it may seem silly now to point them out but just keep it in mind for future works.
So far, this still has an intriguing story and I am anxious to see where this leads. Apparently, there is a lot going on that we don't know about...
| Sarthim chapter 1 . 12/28/2009
Interesting enough start. You're good with maintaining the pace and laying out the scenes so the reader can follow. Though this was obviously an introductory chapter, it would have been interesting to see Chase talk some more, converse with others more, etc. But this will probably happen in later chapters. So far, he seems a pretty laid back protagonist-if that's who he is. Wonder how that'll play out into things.
Some suggestions-even though you're already well done with this story-would be maybe describe the school and setting a little bit more. A little more about Palladion and Chase's school would have been nice.
Overall, this is a good start and you have piqued my interest to lead more.
| Aberrant Lycanthrope chapter 4 . 10/17/2008
Ok, first of all, the kid has a three day long fever, and the mom is nonchalant about it? He is too? He wakes up after three days of sleep, and leaves without food? No shower? All in all, a poorly thought out chapter, sorry to say it, it was interesting up till now, I hope the rest of the story doesn't pan out like this chapter.
| Aberrant Lycanthrope chapter 1 . 10/17/2008
| Kasey chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
Lovely chapter, but a little too wordy. There are too many unneeded details, which gets the readers bored quickly. ;3
| F. B. Hteiron chapter 5 . 7/19/2008
Ooh, Match. That sounds like a fire-type guy or something. I'm going to assume that the title will explain itself eventually, because right now I can't find anything about Eximius or Vir. *shrugs*
| F. B. Hteiron chapter 4 . 7/19/2008
Ooh, this is really getting good! I hope you don't feel obligated to reply to every one of these emails, that would take up your time and my Inbox space. _
| F. B. Hteiron chapter 3 . 7/19/2008
Wow. That was definitely unexpected. Sorry I'm sending all these reviews at once, I'm just a fast reader, I guess. Good job!
| F. B. Hteiron chapter 2 . 7/19/2008
Aha, there's the action I was looking for! :D It's great, but it seems weird when you keep saying "his viridian greens" instead of his eyes. Was that this chapter or the last one? Sorry, I get confused.
| F. B. Hteiron chapter 1 . 7/19/2008
This chapter's a little bit boring, but the beginnings of stories usually are. It was better than usual, though. I'll just hope for some action in later chapters!
| Sachi-shi chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
I really liked ur story. I wish I was as good as you. hehe. No really.
| KuroKage1717 chapter 61 . 10/23/2007
ok ok. so chase, or omnis, has been around for a long time now, and now is the leader of a bunch of heroes? that's quite the time skip.
| Sajas82 chapter 60 . 10/21/2007
I LOVE THIS STORY!
You are so not being fair with that teaser trailer.
I can't wait for the next story to come out.
I love how you ened it too. Chase's name is cool: Omnis
Hey, I got a question, what does Eximius Vir and Omnis mean? Just want to know/I want another teaser trailer please.
I am definitely gonna tell my friend about this story cause she's a fast reader and I know she'd love it.
Definitely gonna bookmark the sequel!
| Always Being Different chapter 59 . 10/21/2007
That is a very beautiful end to a great story. I'm especially glad that Chase finally gets a superhero name. That's been bugging me for the majority of the story, but I can see why you saved it for the end. One thing that I think you deserve credit for that I don't think has been addressed in any of the past reviews is those great hero names. There are so creative and not the least bit corny. Well, great job on getting through a great story. I look forward to the sequel. I have one question for the sequel though, will we see Gabriel Grant again?