Reviews for Grandmother's Fables
InebriatedOne chapter 6 . 10/18/2010
okay, be are off to the races with this. It is not a story as much as it is a summary of what the story could be. As if you want to put the idea out there but not do the work to make it wonderful. Too bad that.
InebriatedOne chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
After reading your profile I thought this story was interesting, but was rather surprised to see it has not been updated in ages. Too bad that.

I for one like the intro in the beginning. That said it does need a little rework for typos and word choice. Something I am sure that after 3 years you have improved in.

Strong premise.
Rjrug84bd chapter 3 . 12/9/2008
Are you still working on this?

I love the way you're framing it - the mixture of past and present, fantasy and "fact" (fact within the world of the story, that is). You're very adept at creating short, punchy, believable kind of stories, the kinds of things you could really see a culture having preserved over centuries, rather than something created simply for the purposes of YOUR story... if that makes sense!

I've seen you post quite often in a lot of the fantasy-writing forums, where I often lurk, and I thought I would finally have a look at some of your stuff. I'm glad I did.

The only slight criticism I might raise, and it's more stylistic than anything else - so certainly it should be up to your discretion, as the creator, whether to continue to do it or not - is the use of contractions within the narrative. Since you're writing about a fantastic people, the narrative contractions - like "couldn't" in the second line of chapter 3 - jar a bit. Or maybe that's just me...!

"Each storyteller, when they inherit the staff, carves their own story into it for coming generations to see." - I adore that bit. (And what happens later.) That's really, really excellent.

I'll be keeping up with this, if you plan to continue with it. Good stuff!
Lord Genserick chapter 5 . 10/5/2007
Your story, seems to be stationed on the lines of longing, and destiny... Interesting, however, I was kind of dissapointed at the short chapters... However, I was impressed that even though they were short, the story was conveyed deeply and well thought out... Good Work, I'll keep track of this...

Could u read My main story? Shadows of the seven? I would appreciate it a lot if u gave me a comment even a bad one, as long as it helps...
Lefty the Right-Handed Shark chapter 5 . 9/23/2007
She will regret wishing for adventure, will she?

soojinyeh chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
Great concept. Love the story. Read and review mine please?
The Ferrett chapter 4 . 9/10/2007
But he is wrong. More importantly she knows he is wrong. So what comes next I wonder. She is becoming more clear to me.
The Ferrett chapter 3 . 9/10/2007
And you confirm the metaphor with concrete evidence. The visual descrips are wonderful and I can almost see the old woman and her staff. The authoress is a little harder.
The Ferrett chapter 2 . 9/10/2007
Aw. A metaphor and a nice depressing tale. ;;00
The Ferrett chapter 1 . 9/10/2007
Your first is intriging. I like how it's subtly divided into two sections, the setting and then the woman. The starting and ending bracket the piece nicely and set up what I feel will be an interesting ride.
Lefty the Right-Handed Shark chapter 4 . 7/30/2007
Tehrumaron does not seem to be too fond of her, either. But unlike her, he appears to be content to accept their fate. Probably from being born under the cornerstone, I suppose.

To Be Ascertained chapter 4 . 7/28/2007
I love the aspersions you cast on the marriage; at times it seems as if the girl wants to marry him, but analogies like the creaking step or the stone near the well make it seem scary or unexpected. I noticed how you foreshadow the girl's wanderlust with her star sign, and contrast it with Tehrumaron's star sign. With a guy like that, I can sort of understand why she doesn't want him O_o No typos this time. Yay!
To Be Ascertained chapter 3 . 7/28/2007
I think I now see the connection with the previous parable and the main character. Is the setting a Native American one? That was the kind of feel I got from the name Ji'an. But anyway...

I found one spelling error:

She had called me that ever since I was a little girls

You accidently made girl plural, but apart from that there was nothing else spelt wrong.

About the story itself. Once again, I loved the emphasis you place on the grandmother's wisdom and ease of life, while at the same time making her mysterious. I especially liked the description of her laugh; I can imagine the woman seemingly springing forth to life with joy.
Lefty the Right-Handed Shark chapter 3 . 7/26/2007
I don't like her being called Little Sparrow just after hearing the fable. Personally, I think it would have been better if we know she was called Little Sparrow before the fable... Seems slightly contrived as is.

Okay, so she maybe doesn't look up to her grandmother as I first thought. Hm. Interesting!

To Be Ascertained chapter 2 . 7/24/2007
Already the nature of the story is set using the parable of the Ostrich and the Sparrow; the fact that there is a story behind even the marking of a bird on her staff tells me that there is more than meets the eye about the events of the story. I could say more, but I'm in a bit of hurry O_o! Eep!
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