|Reviews for Disposable Heroes|
| AppleCinnamon chapter 1 . 7/5/2013
Child soldiers has always been an issue, but this is the first speculative fiction I can think of on the matter.
There seemed to be some plotholes as far as adults were concerned, which I honestly could have overlooked, but there's an implication that there are plenty of adults who can and should be doing the fighting, which was kind of distracting half way through (particularly when Major was introduced).
The cut to the explaining Major's wife and his attempt to get Jacob out of there was jarring and I'm honestly not sure what necessitated it. The end of Jacob's story would have been no less tragic without it, and I found the diversion actually lessened the emotional impact the story would have had otherwise.
Overall, though, a powerful and disturbing piece. I was even able to read through it while my husband pestered me. :)
| A. Nonymous1234 chapter 1 . 11/28/2012
I saw this on a recommended reading place, and needless to say, this piece lived up to the review. It's haunting, especially that last sentence. In almost 2,500 words you've packed more emotional punch than some of the 50,000 novels I've read. This is en excellent piece of work that deserves much more attention that it has, even if it's a tearjerker.
| MeepPsychic chapter 1 . 5/20/2012
Wow, that was interesting.
The way you formed your words, and kept saying replaceable and disposable was incredible. It really wrenched my heart to hear that five year old's were being trained with guns. I loved the plot of the story, and I liked how descriptive you were. You used really great words, and wrote it very adult like.
OK, things I didn't particularly like or mistakes;
When writing numbers, any number under nine should be written in words, any number over nine can be written in numbers (ex.10), so when you wrote 5 instead of five I cringed. Take note of that.
Also, don't be afraid of paragraphs. I didn't like how each sentence was a separate paragraph, it made the story choppy.
Other than those two things, amazing story and I will be reading more of yours!
| macabre thoughts chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
Incredible... I'm wordless.
| Narq chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
This was believable, chilling, and sad.
I wanted it to end happily, but somehow I knew it couldn't be.
You handled it really well.
And hte scariest thing is that this might actually happen.
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 9/2/2010
Old story, I know. But a brilliant gem.
It was heartwrenching to say the least. How none of the kids, Jacob namely, were doomed from the start. The depression from merely surviving to just existing as 'replacable' war drones is a humbling concept and well-written in stark gritty prose.
My opinion? Excellent.
| AvidWriter-92 chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
Oh, my ** gosh. :O
This is wonderful!
I agree with Liana; I can't believe that this doesn't have any more reviews than 3... *jaw drops*
I loved this. Even though it was terrible, and dark, I loved it. :)
To be honest, it didn't feel like you started this story from a one-shot. It feels like I flipped open a book and read a page. :P I'm quite impressed that you can set up characters and a setting so quickly, and still make it feel believable and real. :D
The whole "sending orphans" to war was very scary... o.0 I hope that our countries don't sink to this low of a level someday...
You painted a very chilling, realistic picture of a possible future. :)
I like how you've described his "general" as hardened by six months of war, even though she still isn't very old...
I also love the repetition that you add for the whole "replacable" concept. It's very true, so I'm not very surprised by the ending that Jacob decided to let himself die.
:( It is quite a shame... Sort of ironic to the reader, because we know that he's going to be saved, but he doesnt. :(
I felt really bad for Jacob, but at the same time, I'm happy that he's such a emotional guy. He didn't let war steal his humanity from him. :)
I loved this so much. :D The beginning, the middle, the ending. :D
Such a great job! You should be very proud of yourself, because this is amazin!
~Avid. Roadhouse... (I think that I owe you a review. :/ Not quite sure. Lol. If I do owe you more, please message me to let me know, and I'll gladly repay it. :D)
| cheveux roux chapter 1 . 6/19/2010
This story is truly chilling. The way it was written, I believed it could happen, and the idea of killing enough to get rest is macabre and quite creative. It kept me hooked and slightly appalled (but in a good way, if that makes sense).
| lianoid chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
They turned to the orphanages, and took those children that were over the age of 5.
-That’s horrible. Dang.
"I mean," He bit into the rat, and Jacob could hear bone crunch in the animal's body, as the boy snapped it in two, pulling it apart. Jacob shrank back against the side of the trench, as he saw the rat's organs being pulled apart, bones struggling to stay fixed together. "We eat what we can catch."
-Damn Dreamers, this is some serious shit. That’s so gross, but really sad at the same time.
The morning after, the Major's wife would be arriving to pick up Jacob. If he had known, then things may have been so different.
-Oh no, this is going to be so tragic isn’t it?
Whoa. I don’t know why this doesn’t have more reviews. Dogfuckingdamn this is fucking amazing. Oh my god. This is some serious shish, Dreamer. This is a really heavy piece, and one that is definitely going on my favourites. Oh my god. It was just... so beautiful and so well written, and so tragic at the same time. Man, I don’t even know what to say. Just... amazing job. Really. This is brilliant work right here. Holy crap. I think I need to go cry and then think over my entire existence. Shit.
| Tustin2121 chapter 1 . 7/20/2007
This is such a despicable story, truly sad. It is very well written. I envisioned everything you wrote with the great descriptions. The story does very well with its short plot (war stories never have a long plot). However it is rather fast. You meet Jacob quickly and don't get a personality from him at all. Overall it is very good. Keep up the good work - maybe with something a little less gruesome.